Anybody else remember these? I’m glad I bought three hundred cases back in the day. It’s so much better than pumpkin pie. In any case, here’s to a great holiday free of crappy football and Vasquez rants, and chock full of vanilla puddin’ power. That’s powerful stuff.
Nah, nah, man. I’m cool. I’m good. I’m not mad. See? I’m telling you, I love Vasquez. Love him. That’s my man right there! I’m just like everybody else.
And that’s why I’m not mad that Maryland landed in Maui ranked #22 and will return stateside as, in all likelihod, a team also receiving votes.
The final score tonight against Wisconsin was 78-69. We let them have their way with us. We succumbed to their soul-crushing methodicalness. Who knew it was legal to literally remove the air from the ball during the course of play?
But let’s get back to Vasquez. He finished the game with 18 points. That’s respectable enough, until you remember that he scored 10 of those points with less than 4:30 left in the ball game — that is, once the outcome was no longer in doubt. That is, garbage time. Before that, he was 4-11 in shooting, 0-2 from three, and, most importantly, a big 0-0 from the line. Know why that is? Because Wisconsin saw his shitty Cincinnati game just like the rest of us, and before the game decided to just, like, not guard him. Seriously, the dude was open all game. He got the ball and it was like the Red Sea parting. The result? 4-11 and 0-2 from three.
Defense wasn’t the main problem, but their seal on the perimeter is leaky like a Tracy McGrady contract negotiation. It’s all playground style…once it’s clear someone is definitely going to shoot a three (ie, once it’s too late), someone runs out and throws up a hand. Sometimes I can almost hear them calling out “don’t miss!” as the ball goes up. Now that’s big time. If you don’t believe me, check the stats. Wisconsin hit 45 percent from three against the Terps. In their other two games in Maui, they shot 27 percent against Arizona and 21 percent against Gonzaga. Maryland held Cincinnati to 24 percent shooting from three. That’s great. But Vanderbilt held them to 20. Prairie View A&M, the university known for its prairie views, held them to 27.
But back to Vasquez. He’s the key to this team, man. I know that. And of course, that means he cannot be critcized for his slow start. See, here’s the plan: we watch them meekly give away a few more, including maybe one to, say, Winston-Salem State, then come into the ACC completely flat and blow games to Boston College and Miami. Then we all give up hope, thus making Maryland the underdogs. Then Vasquez can play without pressure and suddenly rediscover his game, at which point he keys a late run including Duke and UNC upsets that just barely gets them into the tournament, past a middlin first round and maybe a second round opponent, at which point we praise them as gutsy overacheivers. Vasquez realizes his dream of being drafted, and enjoys a nice career alleviating those cold winter benches for a warm-weather team that doesn’t travel well.
Doesn’t that all just sound so aweome?
And that’s why I’m not mad, dude! This is gonna be great. And you know what, this is all because Vasquez is too busy trying to create for his young teammates. He’s got bigger fish to fry than “scoring points” and whatever else the biased media heaps on him so unfairly. He’s trying to be a role model. Not in a basketball sense, mind you. In like a cool sense. He’s not playing well, but he’s cool with it. See how that works? He’s got, like, eleven extra gears we mortals don’t even understand. Once he turns it on dude it’s like a jet pack OMG and then you haters are gonna be sorry ROTFL.
Oh, will you be sorry.
And you know what? I’ll be there every step of the way. Mocking you.
Last night’s game was ugly for the Terps. While I was watching the game I started thinking about the team’s history in Maui. It seemed to me like they never do well there.
After doing some research, guesswork, and arithmetic, I found that the Maui Invitational has not historically treated Maryland well. This is the Terps fourth trip there. In the previous three tournaments the team was 5-4 with their best finish being a loss in the 1994 final. I don’t have the annual records in front of me but I’m going to make some educated guesses based on the data available. Counting this year’s win against Chaminade and loss to Cincinnati, the Terps have gone 3-4 in the three tournaments since then 1994. Considering that their first round game is generally against a cupcake team and assuming Maryland has won all those first round games, this means the Terps are 0-4 in the second round or later in their last three trips to Maui. If that doesn’t already suck enough, there is only one team that is a perfect 12-0 in tournament history and their name rhymes with Fuke.
Even though this tournament is like a free vacation for the coaching staff and their family, they may want to consider skipping it in the future. Short of skipping the tournament, maybe the team could get there a couple days earlier to shake off the jet lag. I don’t know what the answer is here, but something has to change if they’re going back to Maui.
If recent history is any indication of future performance, don’t expect Maryland to turn it around tonight against Wisconsin. Mahalo.
So the Cincinnati Bearcats handled the Terps 69-57 tonight in the first real test for either team. Based on several requests (and by “several” I mean “one”), I’m providing a recap in bullet points. It’s the bloggy thing to do.
What’s up, Lance. Man Child. Born Ready. Big game tonight against the Terps.
What’s wrong, buddy? You look a little out of it. Did you accidentally sit on a pea during your plane ride? Did Slam not send the right photographer? Did Cincinnati’s check not clear?
It’s so hard being a star. Regular people, they just don’t understand. They don’t know what it’s like to have this talent. The expectations. The burdens that you carry. Because you’ve got all the tools.
All the tools, that is, except maybe one: the one between your ears.
Oh, yeah, that’s right. I said it. And you heard me. Got nothing to say? Cat got your tongue? Oh, wait, no. Your coach put a gag order on you, saying he was “worried about our guys focusing on basketball and academics and not being distracted.”
What? Distraction? Unbelievable. That’s no way to treat Born Distraction, er, Ready. So I guess you’ll just have to let your actions do the talking. After all, you don’t have time to talk to every reporter who wants a quote, or every girl you want to sex up. Talking just wastes the sexy time. Believe me, they’ll get the message!
It’s not about talk anyway. It’s about team. Just like with the team’s previous point guard, Rashad what’s-his-name. Oh, right Bishop. He got bumped so you could play. That’s what I like to call building bridges. Want me to call Slam so you can talk a little more about your selflessness?
In the meantime, unfortunately for you it looks like your stats aren’t bearing out the decision. I was going to go look up your numbers on the Cincinnati Web site, but they still have the 2008-2009 data on there. Great job, Bearcats. Web sites aren’t so important anyway. It’s just the nerds what read them and shit. So anyway, I’ll just have to calculate your stats the old-fashioned way: ESPN. Looks like you’re averaging 10 points on 36 percent shooting to go with 4 rebounds and 1 assist. That’s good, but not “this was definitely worth undermining the incumbent” good.
And you know what? You’re not even gonna hit those averages tonight. Maryland’s offense may not be starting off gangbusters, but their D sure as hell is. It’s gonna be Vasquez and Sugar Sean on you all night. Maybe a little Bowie an Hayes for good measure. They’re gonna shut you down, Lance. I repeat. Shut. You. Down. Vasquez is crazier than you are by a Caracas mile. You’re not getting past him, buddy.
So mark it down, Lance. Alert the media. Born Ready’s gonna get put to sleep tonight.
Last night Maryland overwhelmed Chaminade in the first round of the Maui Invitational. They didn’t play especially well, though. It is somewhat discomfiting that Vasquez had yet another sluggish game, finishing with six points on 2-7 shooting. On the season, he’s now shooting a crisp 30 percent from the floor. I know he’s getting it done in other areas (leading the team in assists, for example), and I know it’s a long season and “he’s just biding his time” and yadda yadda. But the Vasquez Terrapins haven’t exactly earned the benefit of the doubt in Cupcake Land, that’s all I’m saying. You know what I’m saying? That’s all I’m saying.
In any event, the Terps won based on the internationally acclaimed strategy of being bigger and stronger than their opponents. Good news for the Terps, bad news for the Silverswords. I love that nickname by the way. Although it doesn’t really scream “Hawaii” to me. The University of Hawaii is the Rainbow Warriors…now see, that’s Hawaiian. Chaminade should be the Pineapples, or the Mahi Mahis, or the Volcano Danglers. That would be great.
So tonight at 7 p.m., the Terps face the Bearcats of Cincinnati, who grinded (ground?) out a win against Vanderbilt last night. Naturally, everyone is keying on the matchup with five-star shooting guard, former Maryland recruiting target, possible criminal, and possible weirdo Lance Stephenson, who finished last night’s game with eight points and five rebounds. The tougher test, however, could be from 6′9″ power forward Yancy Gates, who got a 16 and 10 last night. Could be an interesting barometer for the young bigs.
According to yesterday’s Washington Post, university sources believe a buyout of Ralph Friedgen’s contract might be possible.
Friedgen has two years left on his contract; buying him out would cost more than $4 million. The story doesn’t say they’re going to fire him, it just says this buyout figure won’t prevent them from pulling the trigger if that’s what they decide to do in the offseason.
I think it should.
No one’s happy with his performance this year as coach. I can’t believe we’re staring down the barrell of the first 10-loss season in school history. That’s a pretty lonely mountain right there. Ron Vanderlinden never lost 10 games. We’ve had our issues with recruiting (obviously a coaching issue), but we’re better than 2-9. And this is not the first year the Fridge has lamented that he’s lost his players (another obvious coaching problem). None of these things are positive. So what are they supposed to do?
I’ll tell you what: they hunker down, hold their cards, and take their medicine. Now is not the time to pull off the Mariah Carey Memorial Just Go Away Buyout. The university, as with many state institutions, is in dire financial straits. The school has slashed the athletic department budget to help address the shortfall. The state just made a bunch of severe cuts, which includes a $7 million reduction in financial aid for college students, and transferred millions more out of the University System of Maryland budget to plug other holes. Hundreds of students demonstrated a few weeks ago after a top diversity officer was laid off. They are destroying some valuable green space on campus to build more buildings.
And this is before we mention that the university was “forced” to lay off or eliminate 175 job positions over the summer. Presumably, these were not jobs that command seven-figure salaries and golden parachute buyout clauses. I have friends who work for UM who report taking mandatory furloughs and working in severely understaffed offices. Maybe ask them how that $4 million could be put to better use.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but elsewhere around the state, other painful cuts are also happening. A hospital is closing. Other services are suffering real setbacks. There’s no more fat to trim, so they’re amputating limbs. All told, the state has had to cut more than $1 billion out of the budget. All indications are that there is more to come.
Whether you agree with the specific cuts or not, this is the reality we’re in. What will people think if the school claims it can’t afford to keep its top diversity officer, but then pays Coach Friedgen $4 million just to not coach the football team anymore? If they do buy him out, it’s clear that they can’t just absorb that money. Other cuts will have to be made. Where will those come from? Student aid again? The other sports teams again? Will they build a Chipotle on McKeldin Mall?
Of course, it all comes down to dollars. Word is the school fell $600,000 short of its goal on football season ticket sales, to say nothing of single ticket costs, concessions, and the like. If they think any future Fridge team is going to be this bad, and might translate to enough lost revenue to justify the cost of the buyout, so be it. I’ll look forward to seeing the analysis. But I don’t see that happening. That’s a lot of unsold tickets. A lot of uneaten hot dogs.
So I say keep him. They’re 66-49 during his tenure. That’s not terrible. And yes, he’s on a bit of a downslope lately, and he’s 63, and he calls crazy plays, and this and that. But we can hang with him, can’t we? Remember the Medifast thing? How that made us all believe again? We can get back there. We literally can’t afford anything less.
(Photo credit: Brant Sanderlin/Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
Even this clown is having trouble smiling today.
It’s one of those overcast Fall mornings in DC. It’s an appropriate setting for a day of lamenting about what could have been. Terps field hockey fans are feeling a little empty today. That’s because Maryland lost a close game to UNC in the NCAA field hockey National Championship game yesterday.
This gamewas the field hockey equivalent of the Patriots losing the Super Bowl to the Giants after going undefeated through the regular season and playoffs. The undefeated Terps led most of the game. UNC tied the game at 2-2 by pulling their goalie, a desperation move that is much like the famed David Tyree Helmet Catch. They won it on a late penalty corner shot.
The team has a lot to be proud of. Maryland finished with 23 wins, the most in the history of the program. Seniors Emma Thomas, Nicole Muracco, and Alexis Pappas will not be forgotten. In addition to taking home many individual accolades, they led the most successful four year run in Terps history. There is no shame in losing to UNC, who is the second most successful program out there.
Make no mistake, the Terps will back in this game next year, but it’ll be a long wait. Missy Meharg and Odie will be back for revenge. In the meantime, I’ll turn my attention to the “other” Maryland sports like basketball.
ODIE! ODIE! ODIE!
The Maryland field hockey team makes it easy for a fan like me to make bold predictions. The Terps returned to the finals by beating Princeton 7-5 yesterday. Before the season began I had predicted that the Terps would successfully defend their title. They are now one win away from doing so.
Katie “Odie” O’Donnell was once again the star for the Terps, scoring three goals and adding three assists to break the record for points in a semifinal. She was this year’s ACC Offensive Player of the Year. I think of Katie as the Oscar Robinson of NCAA field hockey. She plays every facet of the game at the highest level. She’s been an All-American since her freshman year. The Junior forward may go down as the greatest player in the history of the game.
While I’m patting myself on the back, I had also correctly predicted that UNC would beat UVA. I must say that takes a sincere field hockey aficionado to read those tea leaves. So Maryland faces UNC in a one game final on Sunday to decide it all. It sounds like Terps fans did travel in numbers to Winston-Salem, so the Championship game should be a fun one to be at.
One more win for the trophy! Every Maryland corner is a goal! Go Terps!
A buddy of mine was goodly enough to drop me a ticket for the Maryland-New Hampshire game tonight in the CP. Color me excited.
So yeah. That’s about all I have to say about that. What do you want me to do, break down the matchups? Will Maryland have the antidote for Big Dane DiLiegro? The answer is…yes. You heard it here first.
I will also say this: it doesn’t bode well for New Hampsha that I just Googled “UNH Basketball” and the first link that came up was for their women’s team. But it’s all good, New Hampsha! It’s all about team building. Let’s have a wicked clean contest out there tonight. Scotch and sodas on me after the game.
