From the pages of the obvious files, former Terp recruiting target Lance Stephenson has chosen Cincinnati. It’s not unlike the day that peanut butter chose jelly, that Amy chose Blake, that Hall chose Oates…looking back the whole thing seemed scripted. The talented-but-troubled blah blah blah picked the school with the history of thuggery, low graduation rates, me-first play, etc. Although if Kenyon Martin hadn’t broken his leg that year at Cincy, the Bearcats were going all the way. That team was STACKED.

But, well, this team isn’t. Probably one of the reasons why they don’t care about his sexual abuse scandal. Hell, Lance, they’re gonna throw in a few of those special massage ladies for you. Go to town, baby…they’re on retainer and they don’t have green cards. If you could just close your door there first, that’d be great. See no evil and all. Or leave it open. That’s cool, too. Whatever you want, Lance. Hey, if you get bored later I’ve got some fingerprint-resistant tire irons in my trunk. Neat stuff, right? Where do they come up with these ideas?

Seriously, though, good luck to Lance at Cincinnati and in his future pro career with the Oakland Raiders.

Before I go, also from the obvious files, did you know that Dookies are boy lovers? I know…news flash! Offended? Have J.J. write a poem about it.

Happy 4th!