Vasquez, I wish I knew how to quit you. But I just can’t. You won’t let me. You’re like ten thousands spoons when all I need is a knife. But in the end, I learn to love those spoons, with their rounded edges and scooping abilities. Isn’t that ever so ironic, just like your off-the-charts performance on Saturday? You scored 20 points, including some second-half three-point DAGGERS, to help lead Maryland to a monstrous 83-72 victory over those Ohio Valley Conference up-and-comers, the Eastern Kentucky Colonels. After missing a morning shootaround, Gary Williams held you out of the starting lineup (and rightly so). This halted your consecutive starts streak at 80. But here’s where it gets so ironic. According to your postgame comments, it was only through the NOT playing that you finally remembered how TO play. Hollywood, eat your heart out.

“This was a great game for me to sit on the bench and see everything from the outside in, and get back to what I am. I’m the crazy guy that plays at Maryland and makes plays that people sometimes don’t believe. That’s who I am. I’m going to be myself from now on.”

OMG. I have goosebumps right now. You see how everything comes full circle? It’s almost like God himself came down and hit the snooze button that morning. Nevermind that the fourth-place team in the Ohio Valley Conference had us tied up with eight minutes left. Never mind that! We got the W, Vasquez shot 50 percent (although 2-7 from three–but never mind that!), and all’s right with the world. You know what I mean? Happy holidays to me.

And bless Vasquez for seeing the wonderful irony in his benching. For taking the time to reflect. This is best for all of us, because whatever helps Vasquez to remember he’s a crazy guy who just makes crazy plays is ultimately in all of our best interests. Vasquez, you so crazy. You so crazy, forever. xoxox

(Photo credit: The Baltimore Sun)