“…gave proooof through the niiiight, that our flaaag waaas stillll theerre…
OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Yes! That was awlsome. Never gets old, buddee! I don’t even knoe the rest of the anthem, man. I’m just waitin, and I’m waitin, and then I goe “OH!” when it says “Oe say does the banner wave.” Awlsome, man.

I’m always excited this time of year. See, I’m a Murland guy. Balmercounny, born and raised. I got my undergrad degree down there in College Park near Warshington, then med school at Hopkins. That’s right, buddee. I’m a new-roe-surjen. That surprise you? Welcome to Balmer.

But since I went to boethe schools, I’m conflicted during lacrosse season, you knoe? That’s why I wear my Terps shurt and my Hopkins hat when I go to the Day of Rivals at Ravens Stadium! It’s like Christmas Day for Murlanders, except instead of Jesus Chroyst, we got the best rivalry in lacrosse. This is their hundred-and-sixth meeting.

Plus it’s a real good party! Everyone’s real friendly and normal, once you get past the accents. Here, meet my kids. This is Brian, and this is Ryan, and this is Bryan, and this is Brynn, and this is Cal, and this is Ryanne, and this is Caitlin, and this is little Cal-bryn. With a hyphen. Want a Natty Boe? Here you goe, buddee! After the game we’re gonna walk down to the wooder. Wanna goe? I love the harbor wooder this time of year. The sludge bubbles up and makes this irridescent crust on the surface. You gotta see it, man, it’s awlsome. Swear to God.

This year, Hopkins is a little down by its standards, ranked 16th in the poll, while Murland is up at number four. Then again, the Bloe Jays have a 67-37-1 all-time series advantage, and more importantly have won three straight and 12 of the last 15 against the Terps. Throe out the record books on this one, hun. Throw em ourt!

But wait, there’s more reason for optimism if you’re a Bloe Jay fan. Turps second-leading scorer Will Yeatman is a game-time decision with a broeken left thumb.

Hopkins plays a smart game (just like it’s students, heh!), and that better continue, cuz Murland is second in D-1 on “extra-man” opportunities. Why doen’t they just cawl it a power play? I doen’t knoe.  Murland is always great on offense, thoe. They’re scoring 11 goe-wulls a game this season, thanks in large part to Grant Catali-noe, who busted out of a mini-slump with three goe-wulls against Navy. And don’t forget about Ryan Young…eighth in the country in assists! GOE ROYAN!

Here’s the bottom line, thoe: Murland has an awlsome offense and a good defense. Hopkins is good at everything (ranked 22nd in scoring defense and 23rd in scoring offense, how’s that for balance!), but they’re not really awlsome at anything. And they got a lot of youngsters on the team, including Pierce Bassett as their goe-wull-ee. He’s been awlright, but he did give up eleven goe-wulls against North Curlina.

I think Young, Catali-noe, and the rest of the Terps are gonna take it to the youngsters, especially if Hopkins get sloppy. But Bloe Jays lacrosse, man, they always make it tough. This time, thoe, for the first time in a long time, it goes to the Terps!!

Prediction: Maryland 10, Hopkins 8