Maryland basketball forward Landon Milbourne is among the invitees to the Portsmouth Invitational Tournament, which opened yesterday and runs through April 10. If Milbourne has any chance, any chance whatsoever, of making the NBA, he will probably have to get pretty bonkers during this tournament, which is viewed as THE proving ground for college seniors hoping to play professionally.

In my post from a few weeks ago about Greivis Vasquez’ NBA prospects, I posited that he, too, would need a good showing in Portsmouth. Turns out that won’t be necessary, evidently. See, the Portsmouth Invitational Tournament is a lot like college football’s Senior Bowl…if you’re a top prospect, it’s not crucial or perhaps even advisable that you attend. I wouldn’t have lumped Vasquez in with the Sherron Collinses and Damion Jameses and the other senior players who clear don’t need an event like this — not because he’s not a great player, but because his place in the NBA and/or the draft seems so uncertain. But apparently that’s where he is. It will be VERY interesting to see what happens with him on draft day.

Meanwhile, in Portsmouth Landon Milbourne is playing for the prestigious Sales Systems Ltd. team…yes, THAT Sales Systems Ltd. It’s not Ltd. for nothing. He’s joined by some familiar faces, including Georgia Tech’s Zach Peacock, Wake Forest’s Ish Smith, and perhaps his most intriguing teammate, slasher Reggie Holmes, the MEAC player of the year and leading scorer in Morgan State history. According to the university’s news release, Holmes would be the first Morgan State Bear in the NBA since Marvin “The Human Eraser” Webster in the mid-70s.

The Human Eraser! Why can’t we follow Bill Simmons’ suggestion and institute a nickname recycling policy? WHY?!?! In the meantime, I need to start incorporating this more into my daily life. Greivis “The Human Hot Sauce” Vasquez! Kevin “The Human Rocket Launcher” Durant! Waldo “The Human Adding Machine” Smith! Susan “The Human Stomach Pump” O’Malley! Ah, great. The Human Eraser died last year at age 56.

OK, great, so back to Landon Milbourne. He’ll need to play out of his mind in Portsmouth, and then pop a lot of eyeballs at the NBA combine as well if he wants to break in to the league. This profile is a pretty solid summary of his strengths and weaknesses, but in a nutshell, he’s a great athlete who can hit shots and play multiple positions, but isn’t what you’d call a playmaker, as we all know. He’s capable of the “WOW” moment…he just doesn’t, you know, do it a lot. Also, he’s not big enough to stop NBA small forwards or quick enough to guard guards. He’s really gonna have to thread the needle here if he wants to make the league. Portsmouth can make a big impact, for better and for otherwise. Good luck, Landon.

(Photo credit: RealClearSports.com)

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Sometimes in life, you learn something that, as you hear it, is unsurprising to the point of being almost reassuring. For example, when I first heard that one of the athletes in this year’s Winter Olympics was actually competing while pregnant, the thought that immediately went through my head was “Curling. It has to be curling. How can it not be curling? She has to be a curler.”

And sure enough, she is. I was right, and all was right with the world.

(I actually don’t have anything against curling. In fact, a few of my old friends were into curling, and I used to enjoy going to their matches because there was always a bar there, and the spectators and curlers would get plastered together. It’s just part of the curling culture. We should really institute an Olympics of Sports That Serve As Excuses to Drink. You could have curling, ice fishing, any other kind of fishing, golf, or anything involving cards or dice. This could happen. It’s not like NBC has a ton else going on. This is why we should clear out the dead Zuckerwood and make me the new president of NBC. Why not? Sign my online petition! www.seriouslyIreallythinkIcouldbepresidentofNBC.com)

I don’t normally get into college basketball — mainly because there’s no Trade Machine — but some more of these so-unsurprising-it’s-reassuring facts (which for confusion’s sake I will refer to as SUIR facts from here on out) emerged for me a few days ago when I began my annual bracketology crash course. After all, March is just around the corner, people.

I was talking with a famous friend of mine who I won’t name — let’s just refer to him as Jim Kimmel — and he clued me in that Duke was on top in the ACC. There’s SUIR fact number two. Along with Wake Forest, the Blue Devils are already trying on dresses for the big dance. But despite the assertions that the ACC is down, the conference will still probably get six or more teams into the tournament. Among those now on the bubble are Clemson, FSU, Ga. Tech, Va. Tech, and a little team called the Maryland Terrapins.

And there’s SUIR fact number three.

The Terps are one of the most bubbleicious teams in the country. Never quite a lock, never quite dead. Greivis Vasquez and company recovered from a classic Grade B Level Two Combination Head Trauma/Explosive Diarrhea Loss last Saturday to the hated Dookies by absolutely murdering a decent Virginia team in College Park on Monday. Now, they make their second trip to North Carolina in four days (as part of a snow-related schedule adjustment that has them playing four games in a week, which the selection committee, to their credit, has taken note of) to play a dying-quail N.C. State squad.

If conventional wisdom holds, the 17-7 Terrapins will need to win at least three more games to get 20 wins overall, 10 wins in the conference, and a tourney berth. A win on the road, even against the unspectacular Pack, would be helpful, as the Terps are 5-6 away from Crappy Cable Provider Center (12-1 at home) and face a tough remaining home slate of Georgia Tech, Clemson, and Duke. So holding serve won’t be a cake walk from here on in.

The fact that Maryland is 2-6 against opponents with top-50 RPIs (2-7 if you count William and Mary, which ranks 51) means the Terps don’t have a lot of margin for error. If they take care of business against “beatable” opponents like N.C. State and Virginia Tech, then get at least one of their final three home games, that should be enough.  Given this, and given that the Terps are 15-0 against “lesser” opponents, and given that they beat N.C. State by 24 in their first season meeting, the Terps should victimize the Pack tonight.

But that leads me to SUIR fact number four, and reason no. 324 why I love sports: You just never know.

I will now light myself on fire.

I can see all you Maryland fans making The Manning Face out there. It just proves my Andy Dufresne Corrolary, which follows that any team without a major championship or similar accomplishment within the past ten years that directly succeed the achievement of said accomplishment are frustrated to the point of making strange noises and expressions that influence their teams toward negative outcomes in minor situations, thus increasing the likelihood of the opponents of these teams paying off on prop bets. So if you happen to be in Vegas this weekend, bet the house against Maryland winning the tip-off. It’s all in my book, now available on Amazon. You can thank me later.

As for tonight, the matchups and issues remain much the same as they were for the first game. Jordan Williams and Dino Gregory again need to lock up All-ACC candidate Tracy Smith in the post, who has averaged 18 points and 6.6 rebounds since the loss to Maryland, including most recently a 20 and 5 in a loss to UNC. Gregory, in particular, prevented Smith from getting comfortable in the low post…Dino has been struggling of late, however, so a big game from him will be key. Dennis Horner and Maryland blood enemy Javier Gonzalez remain the Pack’s second- and third-leading scorers, respectively, but because of respective lack of athleticism and size, they are fairly easy covers for Maryland’s dynamic guards. On the flip side, N.C. State had no answer for Maryland’s guards and small forwards, who combined for 53 points on 15-32 shooting while holding Horner to four.

But here’s where it gets slightly interesting. N.C. State is 2-9 in the conference and desparately needs a win for pride, and possibly to quell the hot seat coach Sidney Lowe finds himself on. Maryland, as noted, is playing its third game in five days, with a Saturday showdown with Georgia Tech looming. And this is Vasquez’s first visit to Raleigh since hitting a meaningless three at the end of the Terps’ victory last year, which he later said he did to quiet the Wolfpack fans, who he claimed were making racist remarks. I don’t see that action making the Pack fans any quieter. Bottom line: Maryland may have a fairly low energy level for this one. N.C. State will not.

But still, I mean, how is this not a breeze for Maryland? How? How is it possible? They should get this win under their belt, then move on to a tough final stretch that will determine their postseason fate. Then again, that’s why we watch sports: you just never know.

I’m sorry this was so short.

Prediction: Maryland 93, N.C. State 70

Game starts at 9 p.m. and will be televised in D.C. on Comcast SportsNet-Plus (CSN- Regular will join the game in progress after the Wizards telecast).The game can also be heard on WJZ-FM (105.7) and WJZ-AM (1300) in B-more and WGTB-FM (94.7) in D.C. 

(Photo credit: Rocking the Suburbs)

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