Tony Kornheiser back with you on ESPN radio. I am your host. Tony Kornheiser.

You know what, Nigel?

Nigel: What’s that, my liege?

Tony: I’m watching Hannah Storm on SportsCenter, and I’m having a reaction.

Nigel: Your enlightenment is cool water on a hot day, TK.

Tony:  Don’t get me wrong. I like Hannah and everything. I do. But she’s just so TAWDRY!  The way she wrinkles her nose just so at the men she’s interviewing. I saw her interview Marcellus Wiley once? She wrinkled her nose THIRTY-SEVEN TIMES!  Can you IMAGINE?!?!?

Nigel:  She’s like the Erin Andrews of sports.

Tony: I KNOW!!!!!! So she’s hosting SportsCenter this morning, and she’s doing her bit, okay. And she’s got on this Catholic school girl-type skirt, right. And it’s SHORT!

Nigel:  Huh.

Tony: That thing is SHORT!

Nigel:  Short?

Tony: It’s SHORT! And she’s got on this blouse, you know, and it’s TIGHT. The whole thing…well, it was pure harlotry, Andy.

Nigel:  Cheaper than Old Navy slacks.

Tony:  Absolutely.  Hey, Nigel, we didn’t talk about this beforehand, so I apologize, but I wanted to do something a little different this morning.

Nigel:  Your wish, my command, TK.

Tony:  I think I’d like to skip our usual American Idol chat.

Nigel:  Are you feeling okay?

Tony:  I am.  I just thought we might talk sports this morning.

Nigel:  What?

Tony:  Now, bear with me.  After last night’s episode of Idol, I caught a few highlights from the Laker game.  Kobe Bryant hit the buzzer beater. You want to know what I think about him? Buckle your safety belt. I think KOBE BRYANT IS THE BEST PLAYER IN THE NBA. Just deal with it. If you think he’s not, I say you’re a DOPE.  

I’m just getting warmed up, though. Want to know who I think is the best player in college basketball?  John Wall.  Want to know why I think that? Because he’s GREAT, that’s why.  Want to know my favorite kind of wisdom, Nigel?  CONVENTIONAL.  I watch TV, I skim the Web, I restate whatever I absorb there.  Unless I see Hannah Storm wearing something tawdry. THAT’S when the wheels really start turning! She’s in her 50s now, is she not?  She’s like a bearcat now.

Nigel: A cougar?

Tony: What do you mean, cougar? What is she gonna do, attack me at night in my camping tent?  Whatever cougars do, Nigel, I’m not sure that applies to our discussion here.  Pay attention, Nigel. PLEASE.

Nigel:  All apologies, my liege.

Tony:  Speaking of college basketball, let’s take a look at a game taking place tonight, shall we? It’s Maryland. Playing at home.  Against…ahhhhh….(looks at computer screen)….Clemson! Coming all the way up from Georgia to play the Terps.

Nigel: The Peach State, TK.

Tony: Right you are, Nigel! So (looking at the computer) their point guard, Demontez Stitt, is back healthy again after missing the teams’ first game in Clemson. Trevor Booker is their best player, but they’ve got Jerai Grant in the post, too. Now he burned the Terps last time.

Nigel: Yes he did.

Tony: I don’t know the stats. Who am I, STAT BOY?

Nigel: 18 points, 12 rebounds, 4 blocks. Booker was a bit quieter, 10 points but 16 boards. Maryland, especially Dino Gregory, will need to stand up to them. And the guards can’t be afraid to go into the paint.

Tony: Clemson (looking at computer) is the best team defensively in the ACC. They’re the best! Who’s the best? CLEMSON! THAT’S IT!  THAT’S THE LIST!!

Nigel: They slowed the last game to a crawl with the full-court press and stifling man to man. It worked…they held Maryland to 53.  That’s 26 below their average.  And with Stitt back tonight, they’ll press exhaustively again. The Terps have to break it this time or it could be the same show!

Tony: Now this Greivis Vasquez. What is he, Brazilian? I wonder if Hannah Storm likes Latin-American men.

Nigel:  He shot 3-11 against Clemson last time. They’ll need more from him tonight, and with the way he’s been playing, they should get it. Plus he’ll probably take at least one turn guarding Stitt, who is their second-best player behind Booker. And if the Terps are going to fight the press with the press, which is likely, they’ll need Vasquez and his long arms.

Tony:  He would look great in a sleeveless cocktail dress.  He’d be just like Michelle Obama.

Nigel: An X factor for Clemson is inside-outside forward David Potter. He averaged 15 points against Virginia Tech and Florida State, but only 4 against Miami and Virginia. He’s a streaky guy, but at 6′6″ and 215, if he’s on, and Booker and Grant are on, too, they could avalanche Maryland’s bigs. X factor for the Terps: Landon Milbourne. If he can use his mid-range game to draw out the bigs, that could open it up inside and beyond the arc.

Tony:  I used to like that X Files show.   Hey, what ever happened to The Smoking Man?

Nigel:  Make no mistake, Clemson should bring it tonight. They’re 1-4 on the road, 19-7 overall, 7-5 in the conference, and coming off a 3-0 homestand. They badly need a road win to lock in a tourney bid. Since they’re 3-0 against the Terps since 2008, they’re gonna see an opportunity here.

And in their last meeting, Maryland capitulated to Clemson’s grind.  If it happens again, it could be a long night. Less pressure on the Terps than on Clemson tonight, but Maryland has plenty on the line as well, playing at home and with a three-game win streak of their own. They’ve got the ACC’s best player and second-best freshman in their corner in Vasquez and Jordan Williams. A win all but solidifies a tournament bid. I think the home crowd, which is still fired up from that Georgia Tech thriller, is gonna tip it in the Terps’ favor. They win another ugly one by six, seven points.

Tony: You know what, Nigel?

Nigel: What’s that, TK?

Tony: I think Ugg boots would work for you. Ever seen a pair of Uggs?  Ask Carrie Underwood how Uggs feel.  Now THAT’S a girl who’s got her act together. 

We’ll be back right after this message.  I’m Tony Kornheiser.

Game will be regionally broadcast by Raycom and the Terrapin Sports Radio Network, including Baltimore flagships WJZ-FM (105.7) and WJZ-AM (1300). Pregame on the network begins at 8 p.m.

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Sometimes in life, you learn something that, as you hear it, is unsurprising to the point of being almost reassuring. For example, when I first heard that one of the athletes in this year’s Winter Olympics was actually competing while pregnant, the thought that immediately went through my head was “Curling. It has to be curling. How can it not be curling? She has to be a curler.”

And sure enough, she is. I was right, and all was right with the world.

(I actually don’t have anything against curling. In fact, a few of my old friends were into curling, and I used to enjoy going to their matches because there was always a bar there, and the spectators and curlers would get plastered together. It’s just part of the curling culture. We should really institute an Olympics of Sports That Serve As Excuses to Drink. You could have curling, ice fishing, any other kind of fishing, golf, or anything involving cards or dice. This could happen. It’s not like NBC has a ton else going on. This is why we should clear out the dead Zuckerwood and make me the new president of NBC. Why not? Sign my online petition! www.seriouslyIreallythinkIcouldbepresidentofNBC.com)

I don’t normally get into college basketball — mainly because there’s no Trade Machine — but some more of these so-unsurprising-it’s-reassuring facts (which for confusion’s sake I will refer to as SUIR facts from here on out) emerged for me a few days ago when I began my annual bracketology crash course. After all, March is just around the corner, people.

I was talking with a famous friend of mine who I won’t name — let’s just refer to him as Jim Kimmel — and he clued me in that Duke was on top in the ACC. There’s SUIR fact number two. Along with Wake Forest, the Blue Devils are already trying on dresses for the big dance. But despite the assertions that the ACC is down, the conference will still probably get six or more teams into the tournament. Among those now on the bubble are Clemson, FSU, Ga. Tech, Va. Tech, and a little team called the Maryland Terrapins.

And there’s SUIR fact number three.

The Terps are one of the most bubbleicious teams in the country. Never quite a lock, never quite dead. Greivis Vasquez and company recovered from a classic Grade B Level Two Combination Head Trauma/Explosive Diarrhea Loss last Saturday to the hated Dookies by absolutely murdering a decent Virginia team in College Park on Monday. Now, they make their second trip to North Carolina in four days (as part of a snow-related schedule adjustment that has them playing four games in a week, which the selection committee, to their credit, has taken note of) to play a dying-quail N.C. State squad.

If conventional wisdom holds, the 17-7 Terrapins will need to win at least three more games to get 20 wins overall, 10 wins in the conference, and a tourney berth. A win on the road, even against the unspectacular Pack, would be helpful, as the Terps are 5-6 away from Crappy Cable Provider Center (12-1 at home) and face a tough remaining home slate of Georgia Tech, Clemson, and Duke. So holding serve won’t be a cake walk from here on in.

The fact that Maryland is 2-6 against opponents with top-50 RPIs (2-7 if you count William and Mary, which ranks 51) means the Terps don’t have a lot of margin for error. If they take care of business against “beatable” opponents like N.C. State and Virginia Tech, then get at least one of their final three home games, that should be enough.  Given this, and given that the Terps are 15-0 against “lesser” opponents, and given that they beat N.C. State by 24 in their first season meeting, the Terps should victimize the Pack tonight.

But that leads me to SUIR fact number four, and reason no. 324 why I love sports: You just never know.

I will now light myself on fire.

I can see all you Maryland fans making The Manning Face out there. It just proves my Andy Dufresne Corrolary, which follows that any team without a major championship or similar accomplishment within the past ten years that directly succeed the achievement of said accomplishment are frustrated to the point of making strange noises and expressions that influence their teams toward negative outcomes in minor situations, thus increasing the likelihood of the opponents of these teams paying off on prop bets. So if you happen to be in Vegas this weekend, bet the house against Maryland winning the tip-off. It’s all in my book, now available on Amazon. You can thank me later.

As for tonight, the matchups and issues remain much the same as they were for the first game. Jordan Williams and Dino Gregory again need to lock up All-ACC candidate Tracy Smith in the post, who has averaged 18 points and 6.6 rebounds since the loss to Maryland, including most recently a 20 and 5 in a loss to UNC. Gregory, in particular, prevented Smith from getting comfortable in the low post…Dino has been struggling of late, however, so a big game from him will be key. Dennis Horner and Maryland blood enemy Javier Gonzalez remain the Pack’s second- and third-leading scorers, respectively, but because of respective lack of athleticism and size, they are fairly easy covers for Maryland’s dynamic guards. On the flip side, N.C. State had no answer for Maryland’s guards and small forwards, who combined for 53 points on 15-32 shooting while holding Horner to four.

But here’s where it gets slightly interesting. N.C. State is 2-9 in the conference and desparately needs a win for pride, and possibly to quell the hot seat coach Sidney Lowe finds himself on. Maryland, as noted, is playing its third game in five days, with a Saturday showdown with Georgia Tech looming. And this is Vasquez’s first visit to Raleigh since hitting a meaningless three at the end of the Terps’ victory last year, which he later said he did to quiet the Wolfpack fans, who he claimed were making racist remarks. I don’t see that action making the Pack fans any quieter. Bottom line: Maryland may have a fairly low energy level for this one. N.C. State will not.

But still, I mean, how is this not a breeze for Maryland? How? How is it possible? They should get this win under their belt, then move on to a tough final stretch that will determine their postseason fate. Then again, that’s why we watch sports: you just never know.

I’m sorry this was so short.

Prediction: Maryland 93, N.C. State 70

Game starts at 9 p.m. and will be televised in D.C. on Comcast SportsNet-Plus (CSN- Regular will join the game in progress after the Wizards telecast).The game can also be heard on WJZ-FM (105.7) and WJZ-AM (1300) in B-more and WGTB-FM (94.7) in D.C. 

(Photo credit: Rocking the Suburbs)

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Tonight’s episode of Terp Talk should be a good one.  Terp Talk host Bruce Posner is welcoming Kirk Fraser, director of the “Without Bias” documentary, to the show. Fellow blogger Chris Stoner is going to be on as well, along with yours truly. Hope you tune in. Those not in the Baltimore area can listen here.

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Without Bias: A Terp fan's take

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As you know, the documentary Without Bias debuted on ESPN last night.

I’m going to resist the urge to write a bunch of flowery prose about “Everyone Knows Where They Were When They Heard Len Bias Was Dead,” “He Could Have Been Better Than Jordan,” etc. It feels a little superfluous at this point.  I’ll just say that it was sad, is sad, and will continue to be sad. I think what will always grab people is the timing, happening just two days after the draft.  It’s a little like if someone won the lottery, decided to celebrate by going skydiving, and died in the air before they could cash the ticket. It was a promising life snuffed out as it passed through the doorway to greatness. 

Okay, I said I would resist. I didn’t say I would be successful.

As for the movie, I thought it was pretty good, even if it generally lacked fresh insight. The reporting was comprehensive, and included a lot of familiar faces for D.C. dwellars — John Thompson, Michael Wilbon, Jim Vance, Steve Buckhantz and, of course, one Charles “Lefty” Driesell. After reading countless column inches on Bias over the years, it was interesting to see the story told in pictures. Here are some of the pictures that will stay with me for a while:

– The game footage. If he had played baseball, he would have been a “five tool” player. He was ferocious around the rim on both ends, his legs were industrial springs, he played tough defense, and he was a good teammate.  And finally, the jump shot, which I had forgotten about.  That thing was pure sugar.

– The stoicism of Bias’s mother

– The wrenching, almost convulsive weeping of Len’s brother Jay at Len’s funeral

– The reminder that Jay was murdered in a local mall parking lot just a couple years after Len’s passing

As for the film itself, there is some commentary about the harsh, knee-jerk drug sentencing policies that came into place after Bias’s death. Many of these policies, often referred to as Len Bias Laws, remain on the books. But other than that, the movie didn’t really offer any new perspectives. On the other hand, I’m not sure a new perspective is necessary. The story and its characters are all as compelling as ever, and that’s probably, and rightfully, the way it will always be.

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That’s right, I’m gonna be a guest on the always-entertaining, always-informative Terp Talk!

It’ll air Thursday at 6 p.m.

If you live in the Baltimore area, the show airs on ESPN Radio 1300 AM. All others can listen live by clicking this hyperlink. I’m gonna make a fool out of myself! Wheeeeee!!!!!

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Len Bias documentary tomorrow on ESPN

Like every other sports fan who was alive in 1986, Len Bias’s death is still a mile marker on my own personal sports landscape. More than 20 years later, his death and life still strike a chord. (See iconic image on the sidebar to your right.) Tomorrow night at 8, a new documentary called Without Bias will air on ESPN. It’s part of the network’s “30 for 30″ film series.

Sports Guy and Boston Homer Bill Simmons, who masterminded the whole “30 for 30″ concept, has previously lamented Bias’s death and What Could Have Been for the Celtics. It’s a good (or maybe bad) read for getting into the Bias mood.

“Without Bias” is directed by Kirk Fraser who, as I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, is the brains behind “Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown.” For truly, hers, too, was a life interrupted. (He also did “American Gangster,” which was a good movie.)

We’ll be back to share some reactions to the film Wednesday morning.

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Look at this photo.  Look at it!

Look at this photo. Look at it!

They beat us in their house last year. Now they’ve beaten us in our house this year. All this talk about revenge game, and this and that, and this is what happens. Another year, another group of Blue Raiders jubilant at Maryland’s expense. Gah. I’m gagging. Need air. I need to breathe!

Okay. Get a hold of yourself, man. Whew. So I should probably mention that I didn’t actually watch the game, mainly because it will be a cold wet day in Hades before I cough up any money to the Evil Sports Programming Network for ESPN360.com. They could put the Super Bowl on there and I still wouldn’t pony up. Fuck them. That’s right. Fuck you, ESPN. Fuck ESPN360.com. And fuck this fucked up ACC TV deal. You want my wallet, you pry it out of my dead hand.

Whoa. Okay. Breathe. I’m a little angry. The morning after and I’m still upset. I may be misdirecting a bit but I’m still salty with ESPN for doing this. Anyway, a bunch of us were getting updates from a friend via cellphone, and it looked like we had it in the bag. That is, until Middle Tennessee State drove the length of Byrd Stadium in the final moments to kick a game-winning field goal. Read that sentence again. Guess what the key play was on the drive. Cameron Chism – Nolan Carroll’s replacement — was burned for 35 yards. What was a team strength — secondary — is now a glaring weakness. Jamari McCulloch can’t come back fast enough.

Other problems: Poor tackling. Missed field goals. Turnovers, including one by backup QB Jamarr Robinson, who played a whopping three snaps but somehow managed to lose a fumble. Again, the lines were porous. And in general, the offense and defense don’t seem to be, what’s the word, functioning.

Bright spots: 287 all-purpose yards from Torrey Smith. To be fair, Chism had two interceptions. Chris Turner had 288, 2 TDs, 1 INT, although he was sacked four times. Travis Baltz had a 40.6 punting average. Rock solid!

Bottom line: Two consecutive losses to Middle Tennessee State = unacceptable. Period. Ralph Friedgen has a lot of work to do. Everyone says his job is safe because the assumption is he’s going to fulfill his contract (this season then two more) and then fade into the sunset. Fine. But right now, there’s a playing-out-the-string feel to all of this that can’t continue. Fridge seemed angry after the game. Good. I think the team can round into form during the ACC season, but it’s not gonna happen automatically. Get to work, guys. This is humiliating.

(Photo credit: AP photo/Murfreesboro Daily News Journal)

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