We interrupt Maryland March Madness 2010 to bring you this update from the gridiron.  This news is a few days old, but you know what?  I’ve had other things on my mind.  Freakin sue me.  Jerk.

So it’s about Bruce Campbell, the Maryland left tackle who left school a year early to enter the 2010 NFL Draft.  What’s the problem, Bruce?  2-10 not good enough to get you to come back?  Sell-out.

Terp football fans know how good he is, but now it’s codified in the stone tablets of NFL Combine statisticality. Campbell logged a 4.85 40-yard dash time — the fourth-fastest EVER for an o-lineman at the combine. His vertical leap was 32 inches. These are freak numbers for an athlete of his size (6′6″ 314). But lest you think he sacrificed strength, the dude did 34 bench press reps of 225 pounds.

Not surprisingly, these numbers turned a lot of heads, and he is now considered by some to be the second-best o-lineman in the draft. He seems likely to go to the Raiders with the no. 8 overall selection, where he would be reunited with former Maryland teammate Darrius Heyward-Bey. Now wouldn’t that be such a happy reunion? I’m sure those two Raiders will be just thrilled. In any case, props to Bruce Campbell for being the monster all us Terp fans knew him to be.

I know there’s a big game tomorrow at Virginia Tech, and I know this item has been lighting up the Webs for a week now (or 300 years in Internet time), but it’s Friday afternoon, I love this story, and unless I’m VAAAAAAASTLY underestimating the general population’s interest level in the sport of curling, the shelf life on this is fixing to expire this Sunday, when they will extinguish that malfunctioning cauldron in Vancouver and the world will find itself decidedly less sequiny.  And spandexy.

Vernon Davis. Maybe you remember him. He played for Maryland. They called him the Duke. Now with the 49ers. Fifth last season among NFL tight ends in receiving yards, fifth in receptions, first in touchdown catches. He’s a bad dude.

He’s also a curling fan. A big curling fan. He’s like the big celebrity curling enthusiast. He’s the Jack Nicholson of curling.

If you haven’t heard, Davis was named honorary captain of the U.S. men’s curling team. After receiving the distinction, he noted that he was looking forward “to learning more and meeting those guys and finding out what their practice is like.” One word, Vernon: grueling. That ice doesn’t sweep itself, sir. Although in the end, I suppose if a pregnant woman can do it, perhaps a finely tuned NFL athlete might just stand a chance. In fact, on behalf of curlers everywhere, thanks for assuming that curlers even practice.

Lest you think that Davis is just talking some talk here, rest assured that he’s walking the walk as well, baby. Evidence: here’s some video, by way of the D.C. Sports Bog.  Just to be clear, that’s video of NFL Tight End Vernon Davis curling. You need to click that link, homeboy.

See? Terps can do anything they set their minds to. This is all good ju ju for Blacksburg tomorrow. If Vernon Davis can curl, how is Virginia Tech going to stop us? See the logic there? Now get out there and have a great weekend.

(Photo credit: The Curling News. Yes, THE Curling News.)

Typical disclaimer: We here at Shell Games are not what you would call recruiting insiders. We don’t pretend to be. We refuse — REFUSE, I TELL YOU! — to pay for access to any of those recruiting sites with their Fancy-Schmancy “star ratings systems” and “Top 150 Prospects” and “The Nine-Year-Olds Watch List” and so on. When something big happens, then we talk about it, but we figure that extensive coverage of this subject may encroach on our ability to, what’s the phrase I’m looking for, do the jobs we actually get paid to do.

I had something productive to say. Oh, right, it’s college football signing day! Seeing as how the University of Maryland does indeed have a college football program, it stands to reason that the actions of this day may be of some consequence, for good or bad. Baltimore Sun recruting guru Matt Bracken has several posts about what Terps fans can expect today. Short answer: we could have a sneakily good freshman class on our hands.

The jewel of the crop is D.C. defensive end Javarie Johnson, who decommitted from Miami to go to Maryland. Maryland’s biggest official get thus far is O-lineman Max Garcia (pictured above). He had 50 pancake blocks last season. That’s great, but how many flying elbow smashes did he get? Atomic leg drops? Belly-to-back suplexes? I know it’s been said before, but football really needs to improve its stat categories.

Good luck to the Terps today. We’ll have a recap later. Maybe. Either way, you can follow all the signing day action in real time on ESPNU.

This Saturday and Sunday, eight National Football League franchises DO BATTLE between the white lines.  They shall all strive for a roster spot…on the team of IMMOORTALITYYYYYYYYYYY.

And ladies. Lots and lots of LADIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEES.

It’s the Elite Eight of the NFL season, and more than a few former Terps dot the remaining rosters. Injuries and other oddities seem to have befallen some of them, but they’re still there. Still alive and kickin toward the Super Bowl.  This is probably as good a time as any to remind people that Maryland, despite being a mediocre program in a mediocre BCS conference, actually churns out the pros at a pretty steady clip.  It doesn’t make 2-10 taste any better, but maybe it’s a decent chaser.

In the NFC, the Minnesota Vikings are tied with the Deadskins for most former Maryland stars on an NFL roster (four). We all have that thing that happened to E.J. Henderson logged in our Nasty-Ass Injuries Mental Highlight Reel, but E.J. brother and fellow linebacker Erin Henderson is holding it down, right?  Oh, wait, he got suspended for violating the league’s drug policy and will miss Sunday’s game. Well shit, Minnesota. This isn’t going well. At least we’ll always have tight end Jeff Dugan. If you ever want to play a fun game when the Vikings are on, count the Jeff Dugan jerseys in the stands. Seconds of fun right there.  But I saved the best for last: free safety Madieu Williams. They’ll call his name a couple times on Sunday. Plus, he’s an awesome guy. Seriously, when you’re ready to wash Gilbert Arenas out of your brain, read about Williams, a native of Sierra Leone, donating $2 million to the University of Maryland to establish The Madieu Williams Center for Global Health Initiatives.

On the other side of the ball, you’ve got the Dallas Cowboys. No ex-Terps on their roster. You know what that means: GO VIKES! Like I needed another reason to root against the Cowboys.

No Terps for Cards-Saints, either. So no need to watch that one at all. You’re welcome.

In the AFC, you’ve got the Baltimore Ravens taking on the juggernaut Baltimore Indianapolis Colts. I wonder if anyone in Charm City is going to take note of that. The Ravens, of course, have big Jared Gaither at left tackle. Unfortunately, he’s been battling an ankle injury and may not play, and if he does, he’ll have Dwight Freeney to contend with. When he’s not battling ankle injuries, Gaither enjoys being jealous of fellow OT and cinema star Michael Oher. Have you heard his story, by any chance? It’s heartwarming, in a by-God-this-hits-every-single-demographic kind of way. A Hollywood miracle! The Ravens also have underrated cornerback Dominique Foxworth, who just finished shutting down Randy Moss last weekend.

In the other AFC game, the Jets have nose tackle Kris Jenkins, but unfortunately he’s on injured reserve. Again. The Chargers have some guy named Shawne Merriman. Never heard of him before. Get a touchdown, Shawne!

I guess that’s it. Plenty of Terps, plenty of storylines. Good luck to everyone this weekend.

Ye Gods, what did you say to upset Titus?

What is that object flying down the beltway?  Is it Santa?  No, kids, it’s even better.  Titus Till is coming to town.

Here are some vitals on the highly touted safety that has committed to come to Maryland next year:

• 6′3″, 200lbs – he’s big
• 4.62sec 40-yard dash – he’s big and fast
• 215lb bench press – he’s big, fast, and strong
• Ranked #11 in the nation among safety recruits – he’s big, fast, strong, and talented

Best of all, Titus is local.  James Franklin has picked-up this star recruit from Wise H.S. in Upper Marlboro, MD.  That’s Terrapin Country.  Also, did I mention his name is Titus?  He should drop his last name and just go with Titus on the back of his jersey.  It would be so much more badass.  I’m going to go ahead and prempt all of you by nicknaming him “The Emperor”.  Done and done.

According to this ESPN article, Till plays in the school jazz band and is active in his church.  Here’s what Titus’s high school coach, DaLawn Parrish, has to say about this young man, “If you had a son you’d be proud he was your son.”

So, in addition to being big, fast, strong, and talented, Titus is a leader.  I can’t wait to see The Emperor in action.

Maryland left tackle and general monster of a man Bruce Campbell is entering the NFL draft a year early. You heard it here first. Or second. Whatever.

When his toes weren’t twinkling out there at left tackle, the 6′7″, 310 pound Campbell missed several games with knee and toe injuries. Otherwise, he was the anchor of an offensive line that struggled to remain upright in the ACC, which itself was the worst BCS conference by two tire flips. It’s no reflection on Bruce, though. Don’t hit me, Bruce. Either way, there’s a good chance he’ll go in the first round.  You can’t put a price on toes that twinkly.  Unless that price is six years, about $45 mill.  Sound about right, Washington Redskins?

Sorry, wrong Bruce Campbell. Evil Dead's a good movie, though.

So good move by Bruce. Bad news for the Terps. This isn’t going to make the line any better. Plus, did you notice we don’t really have a quarterback for next year? The Maryland football program is rapidly devolving into a Cormac McCarthy novel. It won’t be much longer before we see Ralph Friedgen roasting James Franklin on a spit. Medifast bars don’t cut it when the civility gets stripped way, do they, coach?

Former Terps standout and current Vikings linebacker E.J. Henderson is done for the season after breaking his thigh bone yesterday against the Cardinals. Good God!

Unfortunately for E.J., this injury report doesn’t start with the phrase “X-rays have revealed.”  Not a lot of ambiguity on this one. That thing BROKE, motherfucker.  It busted like a Mexican prophylactic.  I don’t know why I’m being so vile.  Maybe it’s to cover up the utterly unmasculine revulsion I experienced upon watching the Thiesmannesque replay, during which Henderson’s leg gained an extra joint and proceeded to whirl over his body like a helicopter blade.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hope E.J. heals from this and can eventually return to the league.  Oddly, the gruesome nature of the injury may actually benefit him in the long run, as it’s clear that was a pretty, uh, clean break, which can be easier to repair than a more jagged fracture.  On the other hand, I am not a medical doctor. 

The Vikings also are undoutedly hoping for a return at some point.  E.J. led the league’s ninth-ranked defense with 63 tackles.

For those who haven’t seen it or like this kind of thing (not that the Internet harbors that type of deviance), check it out below.  I think it’s fair to say you’ve been warned.

There’s little in the world of non-real digital sports that beats the feeling of just finishing your fantasy football draft. As you scan your final roster, buzzing on adrenaline and Miller Lite, you realize that the Tom Brady’s Love Childs just might grab the brass ring this season between the metaphorical white lines of battle.

Fast forward. It’s Sunday afternoon, week five in the NFL, but you’re not watching the games. Instead, you’re watching the John Deere National Lawnmower Racing Circuit Semifinals on ESPN27. After all, their stat ticker is faster. You’re sitting alone in the dark, and there’s a little tiny Clydesdale rearing up against the back of your eyeballs, and a nail from one of its horseshoes is loose and catching on your optic nerve as you wait to discover whether Tatum Bell is going to get any goal-line carries. It’s at this point that you realize that maybe fantasy football is not for you.

So you stop playing. And by “you,” I mean “me.” Yes, me stop playing fantasy football. In fact, I quit so long ago that Tatum Bell was my final big sleeper pick. That’s the most timely fantasy reference I can give you.

That is, until today. For you see, a certain ex-Terp is tearing up the fantasy world. That Terp, of course, is San Francisco 49ers tight end and Under Armour Spokesperon Vernon Davis. Davis is currently sitting third in the league TE rankings behind Dallas Clark and Antonio Gates. But that actually seems a little low, especially given that he is leading the league — the entire league — in receiving touchdowns with nine. Only Larry Fitzgerald and Reggie Wayne have as many. Add 57 receptions for 670 yards, and it’s no wonder he’s at 44 overall on the Yahoo! big board.

What I don’t understand is: what happened to his nickname? All throughout college he was “The Duke.” If I remember correctly, at one point he actually insisted on being called Duke Davis. But now he’s just plain old Vernon, at least in the media. But his Facebook refers to him as “The Duke.” Why can’t we bring that back? It’s a good nickname.

The Diamondback has the story. Ralph Friedgen is still the coach of your Maryland Terrapins.

The D-back may have gotten that scoop, but we got the ultra-scoop.  We’re the Maggie Moo’s of Ralph Friedgen news.  We’re the Better Batter, big daddy. With a Snickers mix-in. 

Ready?  Athletic Director Debbie Yow said they would make the decision “very fast.”  And so they did.  Here’s how it all went down yesterday…behind closed doors.

• Yow:    Greetings, Coach Friedgen. Thank you for coming in this morning.
• Friedgen:    How you doing, Debbie.
• Yow:  Please address me as Doctor Yow.
• Friedgen:  Sure, doc.  How ya doin, doc.
• Yow:   I’m fine, sir.   A little stiff, but fine.   Were you aware that if we fired you we would have to pay you four million dollars?
• Friedgen:   (Smiles.  He produces a beer from somewhere, cracks it open.  Takes long, satisfying swig.)  AHHHHHHHHHHHH.  MAN, is that good. Seriously though.  GOOD.  The first cold one of the offseason.  Does it get any better than that?  It’s like a little vacation in my hand.
• Yow:  So the buyout, then.
• Friedgen:   Oh, that.  Now that you mention it, yes, I believe I may recall seeing a mention of that somewhere.
• Yow:  The university’s not gonna cough it up.  And the boosters say they cannot collect that much.
• Friedgen:  (Wriggles hand down pants, takes another swig.)  Yeah, even for rich guys that’s a lot of money to piss away.  Can you imagine that?  You’re in the bathroom, trying to get your stream going, and you look down and see that it’s money coming out of your dong!  Oh, sorry about that, Deb.  It could be coming out of a verjayjay, too.  That’s totally cool with me.  Either way, though, liquid money!   And you want to put out your hand to catch it so it doesn’t go into the toilet, but it’s still pee, you know?  I’d imagine you’d just let it go.  It’s too gross to touch. 
• Yow:   Would you care to know what activities I partook of last weekend? I set up a donation pot and rang a handbell outside of a Safeway grocery story.  That is what I was reduced to.  All I could get was 17 dollars and 61 cents. Three million, eighty-six dollars and thirty-nine cents short. It’s like those grocery shoppers were carved out of stone.
• Friedgen: It’s tough around the holidays, Deb.
• Yow:  It’s the Salvation Army’s fault!  I kept telling the guy, “get your own territory!”   I kept leading him over to Mattress Discounters.  I thought all those indoor beds might mesmerize him.  But he kept finding his way back.   Surprising for a Salvation Army guy.  His apron was exceedingly shabby.
• Friedgen: (Cracks another beer, loosens belt.) We through here, Doc?
• Yow:  Yes. Just, you know, try to do better next year.
• Friedgen: (Stands up, salutes her.) Righty-o.  Because after 2010 it’s only a $2 million buyout, right?  (Shudders mockingly.)  Woooo!  I’m really on the hot seat now!  State employees are wiping their bee-hinds with leaves, and you’re gonna be Miss Football Accountability!  Or is it Mrs.?  Ms.?  I’ll just stick with Doc.  Keep it real, Doc!  Catch you at the “Terrapins Rising” preproduction meeting.  (Walks out, clicking heels and singing “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas”)

There you have it.   In far less interesting news, The Diamondback is also reporting that his retention is contingent on him expanding some kind of improvement plan that he gave to Debbie Yow during their meeting yesterday.  The plan will reportedly cover scheme changes, possible staff changes, and a new “recruiting philosophy.”

But again, that tells only half the story. That new recruiting philosophy they mentioned? We have the text. Word for word!

Stick gun in the barrell, start shooting.

And now you know…the rest of the story.

(Photo Credit: The Redshirt Senior)

The Maryland I (also known as the Stack I) is similar to the Power I except that instead of placing the third back to one side of the fullback, the fullback, third back, and tailback line up directly in front of each other (hence the term “Stack”). Obviously, this is a running-emphasis variant made popular by the Maryland Terrapins football team of the 1950s.

This is very innovative stuff.  The Terps could line-up Robinson at QB with Scott, Meggett, and Douglas flanking him and running in every direction with each snap.  What was old is at once new again.  Hail, hail the return of the Maryland I!

You know it’s desparation time when coaches start incorporating the option.