Oe, hey, buddy! Didn’t see yoo come in. Just enjoyin a little tailgaitin with my infant son here. Ryan, say helloe. We thought we’d get here a little early, right buddy? I took four days off from the hospital — let the other new-roe-surgeon handle the loed for a while. And Ryan and I, we left the ladies at hoeme to attend the first annuwul crab bowull. What better place too teach him about pickin CRAB?!?!

But it’s special for more than just that. This is the inaugural Crab Bowull event! Murland and Navy. Don’t get much more Murland than that, boy! Unless yoo make the trophy a big pyootur bowull of crabs. NOW WE’RE TALKIN!!!

It ain’t the moest natrul rivulry, that’s for sure. This is only the second time they’ve played since 1965. They played in oe-five and Murland won a cloese one. But now, it might be a more reguellur thing. The coaches and the ADs (the interim ones anyway) seem to favor more meetings. They’re in-state rivalry, and now there’s a trophy and all, but it still feels like a couple guys trying to make friends at a bar because there’s noe wun else to talk to. And I’ll tell ya, buddy, I been there!

But it’s still a real interesting matchup this year. On one side, you got Navy’s vaunted triple option offense. Lotta running. Lotta pitching. Lotta hoekus poekus! On the other side, you got Murland, which is, how should I put this, a legitimate D-1 football program.

Hey, I’m not hatin’ on Navy. They knoe this, man. They knoe it! Otherwise, why institute the razzul-dazzul? It’s like the little skinny kid in school who learns karate. It’s impressive, it’s flashy, maybe it levels the field a little. But at the end of the day, he’s still the little skinny kid.

Noe wun — NOE WUN — supports the troops more than me. But with football, being a militurry schoowul makes recrooting a real challenge. Navy knoes that. And heck, I did some research, right, and the average weight of their starting oe-lineman is 268 pounds. And that’s rounding up. For Murland, it’s 298. That says it all.

But still, they’re a good football team. Quarterback Ricky Dobbs is the best player they’ve had, at any position, since Roger Staubach. That was a long time agoe. So they’ll win some games in 2010. Just not this one. The Murland linebackers excel at stopping the run. They’ll stay disciplined and they’ll contain the triple option.

On the other side, Navy lost three linebackers and are also undersized. You should be able to run on ‘em. And loe and behowuld, Murland’s got some good backs back there. And a questionable Oe-line should be able to have success against Navy’s smaller 3-4 set.

So there yoo goe. Ryan, how bout another Natty Boe? It’s five o’clock somewhere, buddy. And I didn’t take time off to drink wooder. It’s gonna be a great game Monday, but the edge goes to Murland. GOE TURPS!

Prediction: Maryland 24, Navy 14.

It’s one of the most buzzed-about offensive schemes in college football. And it has the Naval Academy looking for its second straight 10-win season.

The Midshipmen upset Notre Dame in 2009 and lost a squeaker to Ohio State in the regular season finale en route to their seventh — SEVENTH! — consecutive bowl appearance. A lot of it is thanks to coach Ken Niumatalo, quarterback Ricky Dobbs, and their wild and wooly triple option offense.

The Navy version places a fullback behind the quarterback and then lines up two backs over either tackle position. There’s motion, and there’s misdirection. The quarterback has to be mobile and quick-thinking, as he must decide whether to tuck it under, hand off, or toss to one of the slotbacks. It’s a brilliant offense for taking advantage of selfless players — and compensating for the trouble the service academies have had in recruiting blue-chip talent.

Watch this video and just try to keep your eye on the ball (it’s a few years old, but you’ll get the idea). Plus, there’s a soundtrack by Three Doors Down! Get ready to rock.

Perhaps this is why Navy had the nation’s fourth-best rushing offense last year with 280 yards per game, and why Dobbs was — as a junior — the 33rd rusher in the nation. And not among quarterbacks, either. Fullback Vince Murray finished 60th.

So, how to stop it? Discipline, discipline, discipline. Don’t fall for the trickery. Don’t blow your assignment. Don’t freelance. Jeff Barker just kinda stole my thunder a little bit, but the Terps defense has been practicing without a ball, as a way of staying in your lane regardless of where the “real” action might be going. It will be tough with someone as good as Dobbs under center, as he can essentially play a sort of read-and-react mode, only he can use his arms and feet. From a style perspective, think Michael Vick crossed with Peyton Manning.

We’ll see if Don Brown’s ball-less practices help the Terps this Monday. I think Maryland has an all-around edge, but if they let the Navy offense rear up in all its triple-headed beastliness, it could be a serious battle.

Welp, there’s no getting around it.  It seems I must now turn my full attention to football. 

With plenty of people (myself included) slotting Maryland in for one of those mediocre-if-they’re-lucky kinds of campaigns, the Terps could well be the bottom feeders in the ACC’s Atlantic Division. So maybe it’s fitting, then, that their first game is now semi-officially named for the most celebrated bottom feeder in the state. Oh, yes, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Crab Bowl.

News comes by way of Testudo Times that (a) the Touchdown Club apparently has a chapter in Annapolis, and (b) they’ve commissioned a Crab Bowl Trophy that will, until the end of time immemorial, grace the cobwebby card table inside the garage of the coach lucky enough to lead his team to victory whenever Maryland and Navy decide they kinda sorta maybe want to play each other, they guess. No photos of the actual trophy seem to be available, but the Annapolis Capital described it as “a large pewter bowl overflowing with pewter replicas of the Chesapeake Bay blue crab…[that] sits atop an ebony-colored mahogony base.” Sounds…yep, sounds like a Crab Bowl.

So now that it’s the Crab Bowl, I figure I kind of have to go. So it’s on, baby…a Shell Games field trip to Ravens stadium in Baltimore. Or, as I like to call it, The City That Reads. Ever been to Fells Point or Water Street? Swarming with libraries. Lots of people always out, stumbling around…literally drunk from reading! They can’t seem to get enough. And the girls? You can almost smell the literacy on them. So I’m excited to return. Plus I’ve got some jerky friends from the old university days who are supposed to be joining me. They live in Delaware now. I hope they bring me something from the irregular sewing needle outlet market — dude, no sales tax, dude!

Should be a good time.

Nobody ever wants to be the odd man out. The Ray Jackson. The Angelina. The Around The Horn. The third tenor whose name I can’t remember.

Heading into Maryland football’s summer practice season, Davin Meggett seemed poised to take a number at the back of that long and undistinguished line. With Da’rel Scott returning to form and redshirt freshman wrecking ball D.J. Adams winning fans and a role as the team’s touchdown vulture, fans and coaches unwittingly relegated Meggett to change-of-pace status.

But don’t break out the therapy couch just yet. Meggett isn’t going quietly into that good night, and is making his case to remain a major cog in the Maryland attack.

To be sure, things looked bleak after last season, in which Dave’s son eked out only 338 yards rushing — for a 3.4 yards-per-carry average — and 175 yards receiving on 14 receptions. In the five games Scott missed with injury, Meggett managed to average a scant 28 rushing and 17 receiving yards per game in very limited touches.

But so far this year, it’s been a different story for the junior out of nearby Clinton, Md. In a scrimmage this past weekend, he ran for two scores and earned rave reviews from coaches and observers for harder, more decisive running. In fact, Ralph Friedgen noted to Terrapins Insider that Meggett is playing the best ball of his college career, which is saying something if you remember his freshman year, when he ran for 457 yards and four touchdowns.

Meggett stands out for his pass-catching ability, but he has some power behind those legs, too. And he’s putting it to good use by hitting the holes quicker and harder. So far this summer, he is dancing less behind the line and more frequently in the end zone, and if he can put it all together once the proverbial bullets start flying, Meggett could be a major shot in the arm for the Terps, which ranked 105th in the nation in rushing offense last season.

So I missed another airing of Terrapins Rising. My bad. Luckily, I was able to catch one of the eleven thousand replays on Comcast SportsNet. Whew! And what would you have done without your weekly Terrapins Rising recap, Mom? Please send more money.

You know what, I like to kid, but in all seriousness, this was the best darn episode of the whole moneyfloggin’ season so far.  Allow me to set the stage, if I may.  Flashback to April 25. The spring game. Red. White. A game-style atmosphere. Literally tens of people in the stands. Can you picture it? It’s like you’re there, right?

Testudo Times published a good recap of the scrimmage, if you’re interested. If you care enough to read that recap, then you definitely care enough to catch a replay of this episode of TR. Only nine thousand nine hundred and eighty-seven replays left!!!!!!

One of my favorite parts was the Jamarr Robinson highlights, which included laying a perfect — and I’m talking perfect — ball on Torrey Smith’s fingertips in the back of the end zone. I’m not the world’s biggest Jamarr fan, but he looked good in those scrimmage highlights, boy. Maybe there’s hope after all.

All three of the top QBs got some nice face time in the episode. Danny O’Brien had some moments, leading White to a come-from-behind win, albeit against the reserves. I was actually pretty impressed with C.J. Brown’s sequence, in which he got a delay of game but was able to easily shake it off–good sign for a young guy.  Shaking it off, not the penalty.

Perhaps the best part, though, was a sideline sequence that came after a D.J. Adams touchdown dive. In a very special Terrapins Rising moment, offensive coordinator James Franklin pulled Adams aside, and told him to have more confidence in himself. To play against the starters the way he had just done against the reserves. You have to have confidence, D.J.! Franklin said. You’re our future at running back! You’re a special young man! And not euphemism special, either…special special! And I want you to play like you’re special! You know what? He didn’t really say most of that. But it was similar. And you know what else? I got a little choked up. You can do it, D.J.! Yaaaay!

/Claps hands in unsynchronized fashion.

But really, it was a good pep talk. Franklin is clearly a heck of a motivator. And my helmet is off to him.

Until next week.

(Photo credit: The Baltimore Sun)

According to WBOC TV — Delmarva’s News Leader — Maryland LB Alex Wujciak is on the watch list for the Chuck Bednarik Award, given each year to the nation’s top defensive player.

Wujciak is already on a slew of award watch lists, including the Nagurski Trophy, Lott Trophy, and Lombardi Award. Terp linebacking great E.J. Henderson won the Bednarik in 2002.

The Maxwell Football Club, which gives out the Bednarik, also put Da’rel Scott on notice for the Maxwell Award, which I believe is some sort of hovercraft. Congrats to all.

(Photo credit: Adam Fried/The Diamondback)

The summer just keeps dripping along.  But with Maryland set to open practice tomorrow, it’s time to get into a gridiron state of mind.  Because we are all busy people, and because I’m disinclined to delve into the battle for starting Gatorade distributor,  here is a 10,000-foot preview of your 2010 Terrapins.

• Offensive Line:  The five dancing elephants in the room. Maryland ranked 110th in the country in sacks allowed last year and 102nd in tackles for loss allowed. That was with Bruce Campbell as the anchor, and this year Bruce Campbell (and, for that matter, second-best-lineman Phil Costa) ain’t walkin through that door. Bookends R.J. Dill and Justin Gilbert are both promising and large, but they’re also both sophomores. Guards Andrew Gonnella and Bennett Fulper have 12 starts between them. When the Terps take the field against Navy, Paul Pinegar, the line’s only senior, will start his first game at center.  Hoo boy.  Maryland has some exciting skill players, but if the line can’t stay firm, they’ll be running through Jell-O all season long.
• Running back: Every Terps RB preview starts with the phrase “If they can stay healthy.”  Who am I to buck conventions? If Da’rel Scott, who missed five games in ‘09 with a broken wrist, can stay healthy, they’ll have a good unit. When he did play, Da’rel somehow managed five yards a carry, proving he can hit home runs even with a poor o-line. Davin Meggett is a decent complement, especially as a pass catcher. Gary Douglas could change the pace. Sledgehammer D.J. Adams will see short-yardage action.
• Receiver: Torrey Smith is playing his junior and probably final season in College Park. In 2009, he finished sixth in the nation for all-purpose yards and in the top 60 for receiving yards. He was all-ACC last year and should be so again. He could set the NCAA record for kickoff return yards, not to mention several team receiving marks. But this unit is more than Torrey. Adrian “Have A Few Words With The” Cannon is back on the other side, and Ronnie Tyler will start in the slot. LaQuan Williams also returns.
• Quarterback:  Playing time in seven games last season, including two starts, gives Jamarr Robinson the most experience under center. His arm is strong, if not accurate. He’s mobile, but tends to go more east-west than north-south.  If he can’t produce, requests for The Ballad of Danny O’Brien could flood the hotlines.
• Defensive line: As with the offense, a soggy line kept the defense on slippery footing last year. They finished second-to-last in the ACC in total defense, and there doesn’t appear to be major improvement for 2010.  Sophomore A.J. Francis is the only returning starter. Derek Drummond and Justin Anderson should start at the ends. From the hope-springs-eternal-in-the-spring department, Joe Vellano was evidently a one-man gang in April.
• Linebackers: Preseason all-ACC first teamer Alex Wujciak, fellow senior Adrian Moten, and 2009 breakout Demetrius Hartsfield will again be — and need to be — big predators for the Terps defense. Despite the overall unit woes, the LBs got 30.5 tackles for loss and lots of accolades last year, and should be improved for 2010 after a year studying Don Brown’s Let-God-Sort-Em-Out philosophy.
• Secondary:   If the line underwhelms again, the linebackers, who are better run stuffers as it is, will have to compensate. Looks like the third level will be on an island again. In 2009, the Terps finished last in the ACC for pass defense, and return only one corner — Cameron Chism — from that unit. Antwine Perez and Kenny Tate are game at safety.
• Coaches: It’s probably Bowl Game Or Get Off The Pot for Ralph Friedgen. With a new athletic director (not to mention university president) entering the fold soon, and Fridge in the final year of his contract, this is it.  O-coordinator James Franklin, Debbie Yow’s handpicked Coach In Waiting, may not have the same understanding with the new honchos. If they go 2-10, or anything like it, a cleaning of houses is in the offing.

Bottom line: Could be another long season. The official ACC preseason media poll has them dead last in the Atlantic Division, and they received the second-lowest total votes, ahead of only Virginia. Last season’s strengths – rushing, receiving, special teams – remain strong.  Weak spots – the lines and the secondary — remain weak.  The key will be whether new players will shore up the leaky spots in the dike or just bore a new set of holes.

Final score: Better luck and a relatively easy schedule gets them to 5-7, but it’s not enough for a bowl game, or to save Ralph Friedgen’s job. This all has the look and feel of a program poised to tip itself into rebuilding mode.  Let the bloodletting begin.

(Photo credit: NJ.com)

(The latest in a continuing series about the one-of-a-kind reality show on Comcast SportsNet. Read the previous installment here.)

Not much really happened in this episode, to be honest. In fact, go ahead and place this one in the Thirty Minutes I’d Like To Have Back file.

The first segment showed the quarterbacks working on bucket throws (also known as a fade route) by — what else — throwing the ball into buckets. Or at least throwing the ball into the vicinity of the bucket, which was actually a large plastic trash can. O-coordinator James Franklin provided an in-depth breakdown of his scoring system for this exercise, interspersed with heavy commentary from the quarterbacks.

Then there was a scrimmage, which culminated in a touchdown run by Davin Meggett, but linebacker Bradley Johnson grabbed the ball, and claimed it was a fumble, and the refs were all sorting it out, and neither would let go of the ball, or concede the play to the other side, which led to Franklin and Meggett calling it a sign that the offense had gotten tougher. Did you follow that? Me neither.

OK, that does it for this episode. I hope next week is better! Yes…yes, I do. I saw Madieu Williams in the preview, so how bad could it be? Here’s hoping he doesn’t participate in bucket throws, or else I might have to throw into a bucket myself.

We can’t all be Dez Bryant.

Former Maryland d-lineman Travis Ivey is now just another undrafted free agent trying to see whether he stacks up in the NFL. Just trying to shoulder the burden. He’s looking to pad his NFL resume. He is “getting hazed” at “training camp,” if you get my meaning.

Here’s hoping he catches on. It’s the only thing that would make this picture worth it.

(Photo credit: Larry Brown Sports.)

(The next in our illustrious continuing series. Read the previous installment here.)

Tuesday night’s show started by profiling seniors Adrian Moten and preseason All-ACC selection Alex Wujciak, who are expected to anchor another strong Maryland linebacking unit. But what you may not have known until last night, is that they like to talk. I know that because they interviewed eighteen players and coaches who all said “those two like to talk.”  But once that was established, a deep division emerged, with some (James Franklin, A.J. Francis-shocker!) enjoying the talk and others (Jamarr Robinson) believing it gets a little old. Because the team is surely waiting for my evaluation, I was personally amused by Moten’s smack — especially when he used Paul Pinegar’s full name when he told him he was offside. First, because I think Paul Pinegar (rhymes with “vinegar”) has a hilarious name, and second, because for whatever reason it’s always funny when football players use each other’s first and last names for emphasis. I should start doing that. WAY TO PROCESS THAT PAYROLL, DENISE WORTHINGTON!

The segment capped off with Moten hitting Wujciak in the face with a pie on his birthday. The nuances of the act, though, just don’t translate to the written word. I know, it’s unfortunate.

Next we got a recap of the team’s first nighttime scrimmage. Know what Ralph Friedgen called it? Friday Night Lights. Here’s the story behind that, and forgive me for paraphrasing: Ralph told the kids they were gonna scrimmage at night, and he wanted the kids to get excited about that, so he said, you know what, let’s call this thing Friday Night Lights, to get the kids excited. And you know what? They got pretty excited about it. The kids, I mean. Kids means players.

Coach Fridge was topped in the insight department only by O-coordinator James Franklin, who I like very much. No matter what he says, he says it in a way where you believe him. I know I’m just sitting on my couch, but when he speaks, I feel more motivated. To do something. Friday Night Lights was no different. According to Franklin, when you get on that field — to play the game — on your field — your home field — your main stadium — you better be ready to play your game. Ah, crap, I just punched a hole in the wall.

I kid because I love. It’s actually a good idea to do these things at night, and the players were clearly amped. Looked like a solid scrimmage, too. Good hard running and hole-hitting from Davin Meggett (yes indeed…I saw a couple holes). A sweet bootleg touchdown toss from The Ballad of Danny O’Brien. He’s gonna be solid under center this year. Wait, Jamarr Robinson was already named the starter? OK, sure, he was fine, too.

The showstopper, of course, was Torrey Smith. The bulk of the footage was Smith making ridiculous grabs in slow motion, with an Enya song playing in the background. There was one particularly unreal play where he bobbled the ball about two feet up in the air, ran into a crowd of defenders, somehow weaved through them all, got turned backwards, bobbled the ball some more, then pulled it down against the side of his helmet. At that moment Enya reached her crescendo, with players in the background saying “the guy is just a playmaker, he does crazy things out there,” and so on. Get him the damn ball, Fridge!

I think Franklin summarized the scrimmage best when he said that when the offense raises its game — and then the defense raises its game — but then the offense sees that — and raises its game EVEN MORE — but the defense again raises its game AGAIN – THAT is when your game goes to another level. And THAT is what happened under the lights in that Friday spring scrimmage.

And then Alex Wujciak hit Adrian Moten in the face with a pie for his birthday. You see the symmetry there? You see what just happened?  Mwah! I kiss my fingers with delight.

Until next week.

(Photo credit: Terp Talk)