Thanks to national sports alpha blog Deadspin, we have two more wonderful reasons why Duke sucks.
First, the Indianapolis Star ran what I thought was a creative and amusing sports page that included a doodled-up visage of Coach K (see above). Coach K’s reaction to this evil doodle was as follows:
“It’s very juvenile. We have great kids who go to school, they graduate. If we’re going to be despised or hated by anybody because we go to school and we want to win, you know what, that’s your problem.”
See, Shishefski’s reaction here goes to the heart of why so many people hate Duke. Got a problem with Duke? Well, then you must have some kind of problem with excellence. It’s the same hatred shown to John Wooden…Bill Russell…Michael Jordan…you get the picture. Never mind that the article makes no mention whatsoever of academic excellence or graduation rates other than to say Duke has a “selective admissions policy.” Never mind that! Duke is the one answering questions at this press conference, and Duke’s verdict is that you Duke haters clearly do not value learning and intelligence the way that Duke does. There is simply no other explanation for your fear and jealousy! And you know what? That makes Duke sad for you.
It’s sad that you people choose to live your lives with such foolish hearts, blackened and consumed with all this anti-Duke rage. One wonders how — or if — you are even able to live productive lives under those circumstances. But you know, you can choose to control your anger and envy juuuuust a tiny bit better. M-kay? Tsk tsk, rest of the world. Tsk tsk.
(Interesting side note: the Star ran an apology after the big flap. Way to kowtow, Indy. Interesting side note #2: Brian Zoubek notes that Duke is “absolutely huge” in his home state of New Jersey. Hey, New Jersey! Stand up if you’re a Nets fan! A lot of New Jerseyites would root for seal-clubbing white supremacists if it gave them bragging rights and some fresh gear to rock at the Keisha concert. Sorry, Ian. You know it’s true, man.)
Oh, wait, there was another news item. According to Deadspin, Shishefski was quoted in the New York Times as saying this:
“What I think the great story is, tomorrow night is two private institutions playing for the national title…It’s a pretty cool thing.”
Yes indeed. Public school participation in our nation’s athletics is, how should I put this, very noble. Very cute. But when a couple of wealthy private schools reach the final, well, it just makes it a little more special. You know — special. It’s where all the REAL leaders can shine.





















