So the Cincinnati Bearcats handled the Terps 69-57 tonight in the first real test for either team. Based on several requests (and by “several” I mean “one”), I’m providing a recap in bullet points. It’s the bloggy thing to do.

• I’m eating some crow over Lance Stephenson. Not a game MVP, and still a headcase imho, but a natural on the court. Crow isn’t bad anyway…it’s just oily. Whatever. It was free, and I’m drunk.
• My keen basketball instincts cited potential trouble when we only scored 18 points in the first half. Scoring points is one of Tim McCarver’s Keys to Victory.
• Not easy for a 6′10″ guy and a 6′8″ guy to look small, but Jordan Williams and James Padgett did tonight against The Human Volkswagens, aka Yancy Gates and Steve Toyloy.
• Lid still on the bucket for Vasquez (5-17 fg). We can’t beat good teams like that.
• Jin Soo Choi: If you get an open look, just shoot.
• James Padgett: Starting tomorrow, please take 200 free throws after every practice. Thanks so much.
• They seemed physically bigger than us at every position except point guard.
• Defense was generally good, but the press was broken regularly and we seemed hesitant to get in the way once they got a head of steam toward the basket.
• We missed a lot of bunnies.
• Cincinnati is no joke.
• Rugged play seems to give the Terps the yips.
• I bet both teams win their final game in Maui.

What’s up, Lance. Man Child. Born Ready. Big game tonight against the Terps.

What’s wrong, buddy? You look a little out of it.  Did you accidentally sit on a pea during your plane ride?  Did Slam not send the right photographer?  Did Cincinnati’s check not clear?

It’s so hard being a star. Regular people, they just don’t understand.  They don’t know what it’s like to have this talent.  The expectations.  The burdens that you carry.  Because you’ve got all the tools. 

All the tools, that is, except maybe one:  the one between your ears.

Oh, yeah, that’s right.  I said it.  And you heard me.  Got nothing to say?  Cat got your tongue?  Oh, wait, no. Your coach put a gag order on you, saying he was “worried about our guys focusing on basketball and academics and not being distracted.”

What?  Distraction?  Unbelievable.  That’s no way to treat Born Distraction, er, Ready.  So I guess you’ll just have to let your actions do the talking. After all, you don’t have time to talk to every reporter who wants a quote, or every girl you want to sex up.  Talking just wastes the sexy time.  Believe me, they’ll get the message!

It’s not about talk anyway.  It’s about team.  Just like with the team’s previous point guard, Rashad what’s-his-name.  Oh, right Bishop. He got bumped so you could play.  That’s what I like to call building bridges.  Want me to call Slam so you can talk a little more about your selflessness?  

In the meantime, unfortunately for you it looks like your stats aren’t bearing out the decision.  I was going to go look up your numbers on the Cincinnati Web site, but they still have the 2008-2009 data on there.  Great job, Bearcats. Web sites aren’t so important anyway. It’s just the nerds what read them and shit. So anyway, I’ll just have to calculate your stats the old-fashioned way: ESPN.  Looks like you’re averaging 10 points on 36 percent shooting to go with 4 rebounds and 1 assist. That’s good, but not “this was definitely worth undermining the incumbent” good.

And you know what? You’re not even gonna hit those averages tonight. Maryland’s offense may not be starting off gangbusters, but their D sure as hell is. It’s gonna be Vasquez and Sugar Sean on you all night. Maybe a little Bowie an Hayes for good measure. They’re gonna shut you down, Lance. I repeat. Shut. You. Down. Vasquez is crazier than you are by a Caracas mile. You’re not getting past him, buddy.

So mark it down, Lance.  Alert the media.   Born Ready’s gonna get put to sleep tonight.

Last night Maryland overwhelmed Chaminade in the first round of the Maui Invitational. They didn’t play especially well, though. It is somewhat discomfiting that Vasquez had yet another sluggish game, finishing with six points on 2-7 shooting. On the season, he’s now shooting a crisp 30 percent from the floor. I know he’s getting it done in other areas (leading the team in assists, for example), and I know it’s a long season and “he’s just biding his time” and yadda yadda. But the Vasquez Terrapins haven’t exactly earned the benefit of the doubt in Cupcake Land, that’s all I’m saying. You know what I’m saying? That’s all I’m saying.

In any event, the Terps won based on the internationally acclaimed strategy of being bigger and stronger than their opponents. Good news for the Terps, bad news for the Silverswords. I love that nickname by the way. Although it doesn’t really scream “Hawaii” to me. The University of Hawaii is the Rainbow Warriors…now see, that’s Hawaiian. Chaminade should be the Pineapples, or the Mahi Mahis, or the Volcano Danglers. That would be great.

So tonight at 7 p.m., the Terps face the Bearcats of Cincinnati, who grinded (ground?) out a win against Vanderbilt last night. Naturally, everyone is keying on the matchup with five-star shooting guard, former Maryland recruiting target, possible criminal, and possible weirdo Lance Stephenson, who finished last night’s game with eight points and five rebounds. The tougher test, however, could be from 6′9″ power forward Yancy Gates, who got a 16 and 10 last night. Could be an interesting barometer for the young bigs.

But, well, this team isn’t. Probably one of the reasons why they don’t care about his sexual abuse scandal. Hell, Lance, they’re gonna throw in a few of those special massage ladies for you. Go to town, baby…they’re on retainer and they don’t have green cards. If you could just close your door there first, that’d be great. See no evil and all. Or leave it open. That’s cool, too. Whatever you want, Lance. Hey, if you get bored later I’ve got some fingerprint-resistant tire irons in my trunk. Neat stuff, right? Where do they come up with these ideas?

Seriously, though, good luck to Lance at Cincinnati and in his future pro career with the Oakland Raiders.

Before I go, also from the obvious files, did you know that Dookies are boy lovers? I know…news flash! Offended? Have J.J. write a poem about it.

Happy 4th!

“I love him,” Williams said yesterday as he sat at the conference table in his office at Maryland.

“I love Coach,” Vasquez says often.

- Mike Wise, Washington Post, 6/17/09

And I love both of those guys.

All I have to say is thank goodness for Greivis.  For all his trash talking and middle fingering, Vasquez is the heart and soul of the Terrapins, not to mention that he’s also most of their offense.  I breathed a sigh of relief yesterday when Vasquez withdrew his name from the NBA Draft.  It would have been a shame for him to go undrafted and lose his eligibility, stranding the Terps without a leader and with a big hole in the back court.

In his column, Wise alluded to the fact that Vasquez will use this draft snub as motivation to run faster and jump higher.  I disagree with that assessment.  Greivis is the one guy that doesn’t have room for more motivation.  Whether you love or hate him, you can’t question this guy’s drive.  He literally willed the team into the tournament last year.

As for the reports that the Terps have given up on Lance Stephenson, I say good riddance.  I’m sure he’s as talented as everyone says he is, and I admit that I’ve written in the past that he could have been the missing link for a deep tournament run this year.  But let’s face it, the kid would have brought the circus to town.  The last time I wrote about Stephenson I hadn’t realized that he stood accused of sexual assault.  Maryland is first and foremost a respected academic institution.  Would the school want to bring in a kid that stands accused of sexual assault to be the face of the program?  No.  Leave that to the Memphises and Floridas of the world.  It seemed clear that Williams and Stephenson would have been oil and water.  No matter how talented he is, one year with Stephenson could have done more damage than good.

Like last year, the Terps will be coming into this season with front court auditions and holes in the rotation.  Unlike last year, the Terps will come into this year knowing they have a guy that can lead the team to the tournament.  If the rest of the team works as hard as Greivis does, then there’s hope they can make a legitimate run at the ACC.

Lance climbs up the ladder, then down it.

Talented?  Undoubtedly.  Head case?  It appears so.  Enigma?  Too many rhetorical questions.

In a rare sign that college coaches may actually have a conscience about the character of the players they recruit, Arizona has announced that their roster is full and they are not interested in Lance Stephenson.  Kansas and Kentucky have reportedly filled their starting back courts with players that have come back to school.  That basically leaves Maryland and St. John’s as the front runners.  Although St. John’s might have a local edge on the NY player, Maryland has a much bigger program of late and would provide the blue chip with a much larger stage to showcase his pro talent.

Stephenson’s coachability is still a major question.  I don’t think he’s a fit for the combustible Gary Williams.  The only thing that works is that he is clearly a one-and-done player, and with Vasquez likely to come back to school the Terps would have one of the top back courts in the nation for next year.  If Williams lands Stephenson he would permanently get the media off his back regarding blue chip recruits, although this might be a “for better or for worse” scenario.

For now, it appears as though the Terps might actually be in the driver’s seat to win the Lance Stephenson sweepstakes.  Let’s recognize that it would be a circus with Lance in town, but a circus can be very entertaining.  Stephenson would make Maryland an instant contender for 2009.  It’s just one year baby.  One year.

Just one thing Lance: Please take your own SATs.

Gary Williams: Hi, Lance. Hey, thanks again for agreeing to meet me here.

Lance Stephenson:  Sure. Hey, coach, I just want to say I’m sorry…you know, for putting you through all this. It’s just that…I’m just very confused right now.

Gary: I know you are, Lance. And that’s okay. I’m not mad. You know I would never pressure you.  That’s the last thing I would ever do.

Lance: You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that.  Because, you know, one day, you feel so sure of yourself.  Everything was, you know, set up. Life was finally — finally! — coming together for me. And then I saw you in the stands the other night, and, well, all the old feelings just came rushing back.

Gary: When you say it was all coming together — you mean Kansas, right? You were going to go to Kansas?

Lance (looks down demurely): Yes. Yes, Gary. I won’t lie to you. I was going to go to Kansas. But then you were there! In the stands! I…everything just unraveled.

Gary: And that’s okay, Lance. It’s okay to have these feelings. Hey, I know a lot of schools are interested in you. Who wouldn’t be? You’re an amazing guy, Lance. You’re a 6′5″ guard with huge ups and a perimeter game to boot. You can get into the lane whenever you want. Does it hurt me to see these other schools wooing you? Sure, it hurts. Of course it hurts. I’m a human being, after all. Never forget that. But even so, despite all that, I want you to know, Lance…that I’m here for you. I’ll always wait. You know what’s been going on with me lately. I just haven’t been right. Don’t you see that you’re my big chance to turn it all around? You could be the one who saves me, Lance. I see myself complete in your eyes.

Lance: Wow, coach. I mean…wow. Hearing you talk like that, well, it makes me want to sign a letter of intent right here, on this table. But then I look at your team, and I see…I see…

Gary: What is it, Lance. You can tell me anything.

Lance: I just can’t stop myself from thinking about Greivis.

Gary: What? Greivis Vasquez?

Lance: Yes, coach. You know what Greivis I’m talkin about. Don’t insult my intelligence. Don’t you do that to me, Gary!

Gary: Okay, no, you’re right. I’m sorry. Yes, he does play the same position as you. And he’s a senior next year. So maybe playing time will be limited for you. At least the first season.

Lance: But what if I’m only there for one season? I have my future to think about, too. Everyone keeps telling me I’m a lottery pick, that I could be a lottery pick right now if the rules allowed it. So I can’t make you any promises beyond one season.

Gary: And I know that, Lance, I really do. I swear on my mother’s grave.

Lance: Don’t swear on your mama’s grave, Gary.

Gary: Okay, sorry, you’re right again. You’re always right, Lance.

Lance: I don’t care for swearing…especially about nobody’s mama.

Gary: Right. So I know you could go after one season. I know it. And that’s okay. Did I ever say you had to commit to me for more than one season?

Lance: Well…

Gary: Come on. Did I?

Lance: No, Gary. You didn’t.

Gary: Right. And that’s the kind of guy I am. I don’t know what Bill Self told you, or what the St. John’s guy told you, but I do know what I told you. And what I can promise you. And I can promise you this: if you come to Maryland, we will make it work. We’re gonna make beautiful music together, Lance. Just you wait and see.

Lance: I want to believe you, Gary. It’s just…I just need….I just need a little more time.

Gary: Fine, Lance. Take all the time you need. Late signing period is April 15 to May 20. Take all the damn time you need.

Lance: Don’t swear at me!

Gary: Waiter! Double chivas on the rocks, please!

I have a few thoughts on Stephenson.  First, the kid has crazy talent but is apparently quite immature.  I have already said that I’m concerned that he might not be a good personality fit for Gary Williams.  He also might not be a good personality fit for College Park.  I’ve seen a few brutal bar fights on Rte. 1 in my time.

Second, the article stated that he’s leaning toward Kansas, but Williams came to visit him and his teammate at Lincoln High James Padgett, who will be a forward at Maryland next year.  One has to interpret this as a sign that he initially wanted to go to Kansas because it has a bit more direct NBA exposure, but the Williams visit combined with oncourt events for the Terps from the last few weeks might be swaying him toward going to Maryland.

Third, despite the fact that many Terps fans think Greivis Vasquez will go unpicked in the NBA draft, I believe there is a good chance he will go.  Vasquez had a strong showing in the postseason, and a few NBA players have touted his skills after playing against him in international competition.  Shawn Siegel at CollegeHoops.net has Greivis as a late second rounder.  If Vasquez is drafted, he’s got to go.  His family lives in Venezuela and they need the money.

I can imagine that Williams is feeling the heat to get Stephenson, because there will be a big hole in the lineup if Vasquez actually does leave.  What do you think he said to Lance on that trip up to NY?  “Lance, come on baby, you know you’re my guy.  Even if Greivis stays I’ll give you all of Mosely and Hayes’s minutes. Just come to Garyland.  Come to Garyalnd.”  The conversation probably went something like that.

The signs point toward Maryland getting Stephenson.  That should end the recruiting criticism of Gary once and for all.  The funny thing is, signing a letter of intent should be the easy part for Stephenson.  The hard part is winning.  Even if he is in a Terrapins uniform, Stephenson will have a lot of work to do to show he can be a winner.

The Post recently wrote a three-part series on how Gary Williams can’t recruit and his team is suffering for it.  Since then, Williams has righted the ship and has the team on the verge of making the big tournament.  The stories sparked boosters, fans, and other school supports to put on an overwhelming display of support for Williams.  What do we have here?  I’m guessing that Eric Prisbell and Steve Yanda needed something else to keep themselves in print, so they looked back through their notes on the recruiting stories, noticed this tidbit about Stephenson, and decided to make something out of nothing.

I think the Post needs to make-up its mind on whether they are for or against Maryland recruiting blue chips.  The paper has a lot of influence over the university and how it conducts its business.  What is it going to be?  Should we go after the All-World players with borderline personality disorders, or should we stick with the system Gary already had in place, which was to get diamonds in the rough and try to mold them into gems?  Maybe the Post can just tell Maryland what they want out of this situation instead of continually embarrassing the program on a national stage.  I think the writers there sometimes forget that the Post is not just a local paper.

Personally, I think Stephenson is a specimen but I would pass on him.  I wouldn’t pass on him because of this Under Armour garbage, but because I’ve heard he has problems with authority, and he’s probably not the kind of guy that would thrive in this system.  We have some other talented guys coming in.  Gary should probably take a flier on Stephenson like he has on other borderline guys in the past.  That’s his system, and he should stick to it.

That’s how I feel.  Isn’t it amazing how easy it was to interpret the message of this story when I simply stated it rather than beat around the bush?

The team played well, the crowd was engaged and ultra-supportive, Gary did him some good coaching, and a top recruit (Lance Stephenson) looked on from the stands. I gotta say it was a good day.   

The game was pretty close up to the end, but even so the Terps seemed to be in relative control throughout.   Miami’s a better team than they generally get credit for, but beating them isn’t rocket science.  You just lock up their shooters and get drives in the lane, and that’s what the Terps did.  But most importantly, when it got down to crunch time, they kept their heads and kept their undies clean.  Vasquez fell one assist shy of a triple-double in a signal that he’s getting off the schneid.  Cult legend Jin Soo Kim furthered the feel-good atmosphere by scoring his first points in ACC play. 

Perhaps the two biggest pieces of news, besides the victory itself, are that Sean Mosely started at the point (and played pretty decently) in place of the psychologically battered Eric Hayes, and Cliff Tucker was benched entirely. Tucker and his mother are upset about it. But whatever. Want more PT, Cliff?  Stop scoring three points a game and yucking it up on the bench during losses.

I don’t know if any of these moves are a long-term solution, but it was good to see Gary doing something to spark the troops. At least for one day, it worked. But the Terps still have a long, rugged, twisting, turning, hellaciously steep path back into the light. No rest for the weary, either:  Carolina’s up tomorrow night.  Get the chicken soup ready.