We interrupt Maryland March Madness 2010 to bring you this update from the gridiron.  This news is a few days old, but you know what?  I’ve had other things on my mind.  Freakin sue me.  Jerk.

So it’s about Bruce Campbell, the Maryland left tackle who left school a year early to enter the 2010 NFL Draft.  What’s the problem, Bruce?  2-10 not good enough to get you to come back?  Sell-out.

Terp football fans know how good he is, but now it’s codified in the stone tablets of NFL Combine statisticality. Campbell logged a 4.85 40-yard dash time — the fourth-fastest EVER for an o-lineman at the combine. His vertical leap was 32 inches. These are freak numbers for an athlete of his size (6′6″ 314). But lest you think he sacrificed strength, the dude did 34 bench press reps of 225 pounds.

Not surprisingly, these numbers turned a lot of heads, and he is now considered by some to be the second-best o-lineman in the draft. He seems likely to go to the Raiders with the no. 8 overall selection, where he would be reunited with former Maryland teammate Darrius Heyward-Bey. Now wouldn’t that be such a happy reunion? I’m sure those two Raiders will be just thrilled. In any case, props to Bruce Campbell for being the monster all us Terp fans knew him to be.

I know there’s a big game tomorrow at Virginia Tech, and I know this item has been lighting up the Webs for a week now (or 300 years in Internet time), but it’s Friday afternoon, I love this story, and unless I’m VAAAAAAASTLY underestimating the general population’s interest level in the sport of curling, the shelf life on this is fixing to expire this Sunday, when they will extinguish that malfunctioning cauldron in Vancouver and the world will find itself decidedly less sequiny.  And spandexy.

Vernon Davis. Maybe you remember him. He played for Maryland. They called him the Duke. Now with the 49ers. Fifth last season among NFL tight ends in receiving yards, fifth in receptions, first in touchdown catches. He’s a bad dude.

He’s also a curling fan. A big curling fan. He’s like the big celebrity curling enthusiast. He’s the Jack Nicholson of curling.

If you haven’t heard, Davis was named honorary captain of the U.S. men’s curling team. After receiving the distinction, he noted that he was looking forward “to learning more and meeting those guys and finding out what their practice is like.” One word, Vernon: grueling. That ice doesn’t sweep itself, sir. Although in the end, I suppose if a pregnant woman can do it, perhaps a finely tuned NFL athlete might just stand a chance. In fact, on behalf of curlers everywhere, thanks for assuming that curlers even practice.

Lest you think that Davis is just talking some talk here, rest assured that he’s walking the walk as well, baby. Evidence: here’s some video, by way of the D.C. Sports Bog.  Just to be clear, that’s video of NFL Tight End Vernon Davis curling. You need to click that link, homeboy.

See? Terps can do anything they set their minds to. This is all good ju ju for Blacksburg tomorrow. If Vernon Davis can curl, how is Virginia Tech going to stop us? See the logic there? Now get out there and have a great weekend.

(Photo credit: The Curling News. Yes, THE Curling News.)

This Saturday and Sunday, eight National Football League franchises DO BATTLE between the white lines.  They shall all strive for a roster spot…on the team of IMMOORTALITYYYYYYYYYYY.

And ladies. Lots and lots of LADIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEES.

It’s the Elite Eight of the NFL season, and more than a few former Terps dot the remaining rosters. Injuries and other oddities seem to have befallen some of them, but they’re still there. Still alive and kickin toward the Super Bowl.  This is probably as good a time as any to remind people that Maryland, despite being a mediocre program in a mediocre BCS conference, actually churns out the pros at a pretty steady clip.  It doesn’t make 2-10 taste any better, but maybe it’s a decent chaser.

In the NFC, the Minnesota Vikings are tied with the Deadskins for most former Maryland stars on an NFL roster (four). We all have that thing that happened to E.J. Henderson logged in our Nasty-Ass Injuries Mental Highlight Reel, but E.J. brother and fellow linebacker Erin Henderson is holding it down, right?  Oh, wait, he got suspended for violating the league’s drug policy and will miss Sunday’s game. Well shit, Minnesota. This isn’t going well. At least we’ll always have tight end Jeff Dugan. If you ever want to play a fun game when the Vikings are on, count the Jeff Dugan jerseys in the stands. Seconds of fun right there.  But I saved the best for last: free safety Madieu Williams. They’ll call his name a couple times on Sunday. Plus, he’s an awesome guy. Seriously, when you’re ready to wash Gilbert Arenas out of your brain, read about Williams, a native of Sierra Leone, donating $2 million to the University of Maryland to establish The Madieu Williams Center for Global Health Initiatives.

On the other side of the ball, you’ve got the Dallas Cowboys. No ex-Terps on their roster. You know what that means: GO VIKES! Like I needed another reason to root against the Cowboys.

No Terps for Cards-Saints, either. So no need to watch that one at all. You’re welcome.

In the AFC, you’ve got the Baltimore Ravens taking on the juggernaut Baltimore Indianapolis Colts. I wonder if anyone in Charm City is going to take note of that. The Ravens, of course, have big Jared Gaither at left tackle. Unfortunately, he’s been battling an ankle injury and may not play, and if he does, he’ll have Dwight Freeney to contend with. When he’s not battling ankle injuries, Gaither enjoys being jealous of fellow OT and cinema star Michael Oher. Have you heard his story, by any chance? It’s heartwarming, in a by-God-this-hits-every-single-demographic kind of way. A Hollywood miracle! The Ravens also have underrated cornerback Dominique Foxworth, who just finished shutting down Randy Moss last weekend.

In the other AFC game, the Jets have nose tackle Kris Jenkins, but unfortunately he’s on injured reserve. Again. The Chargers have some guy named Shawne Merriman. Never heard of him before. Get a touchdown, Shawne!

I guess that’s it. Plenty of Terps, plenty of storylines. Good luck to everyone this weekend.

He's the one with the beard.

Did you happen to feel an extra jolt of electricity in the air this afternoon? But you didn’t know why? I’ll tell you why, jerk. It’s because the MLS draft — excuse me, SUPERdraft — is happening. Right now. As I type.

For those of you still inexplicably sitting there, I will tell you that outstanding Terp midfielder Drew Yates has a shot at being drafted. All joking aside, it’s a big deal. Defender Kevin Tangney was invited to the combine (what, you didn’t think soccer leagues had combines?), but didn’t seem to do quite enough to distinguish himself. He’ll just have to cry himself to sleep on that 2008 NCAA Championship trophy. Boom.

So this year, it’s Yates or nothing. Original word was that he might go 20th to the Kansas City Wizards, but that train has left the station (they went with Olukorede Aiyegbusi instead — damn you, Olukorede!). At this very second they are on pick 29. Good luck, Drew!

And if that doesn’t work out, we’ll just have to settle for following former Terp and defending MLS Rookie of the Year Omar Gonzalez. Of all the rotten luck.

You can follow the draft — excuse me, SUPERdraft — in real time right here.

(UPDATE: As soon as I clicked “Publish,” Drew got selected by the Chicago Fire with that very #29 pick. Congratulations to Drew Yates!!!)

(Photo credit: UMTerps.com)

Maryland left tackle and general monster of a man Bruce Campbell is entering the NFL draft a year early. You heard it here first. Or second. Whatever.

When his toes weren’t twinkling out there at left tackle, the 6′7″, 310 pound Campbell missed several games with knee and toe injuries. Otherwise, he was the anchor of an offensive line that struggled to remain upright in the ACC, which itself was the worst BCS conference by two tire flips. It’s no reflection on Bruce, though. Don’t hit me, Bruce. Either way, there’s a good chance he’ll go in the first round.  You can’t put a price on toes that twinkly.  Unless that price is six years, about $45 mill.  Sound about right, Washington Redskins?

Sorry, wrong Bruce Campbell. Evil Dead's a good movie, though.

So good move by Bruce. Bad news for the Terps. This isn’t going to make the line any better. Plus, did you notice we don’t really have a quarterback for next year? The Maryland football program is rapidly devolving into a Cormac McCarthy novel. It won’t be much longer before we see Ralph Friedgen roasting James Franklin on a spit. Medifast bars don’t cut it when the civility gets stripped way, do they, coach?

Former Terps standout and current Vikings linebacker E.J. Henderson is done for the season after breaking his thigh bone yesterday against the Cardinals. Good God!

Unfortunately for E.J., this injury report doesn’t start with the phrase “X-rays have revealed.”  Not a lot of ambiguity on this one. That thing BROKE, motherfucker.  It busted like a Mexican prophylactic.  I don’t know why I’m being so vile.  Maybe it’s to cover up the utterly unmasculine revulsion I experienced upon watching the Thiesmannesque replay, during which Henderson’s leg gained an extra joint and proceeded to whirl over his body like a helicopter blade.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hope E.J. heals from this and can eventually return to the league.  Oddly, the gruesome nature of the injury may actually benefit him in the long run, as it’s clear that was a pretty, uh, clean break, which can be easier to repair than a more jagged fracture.  On the other hand, I am not a medical doctor. 

The Vikings also are undoutedly hoping for a return at some point.  E.J. led the league’s ninth-ranked defense with 63 tackles.

For those who haven’t seen it or like this kind of thing (not that the Internet harbors that type of deviance), check it out below.  I think it’s fair to say you’ve been warned.

There’s little in the world of non-real digital sports that beats the feeling of just finishing your fantasy football draft. As you scan your final roster, buzzing on adrenaline and Miller Lite, you realize that the Tom Brady’s Love Childs just might grab the brass ring this season between the metaphorical white lines of battle.

Fast forward. It’s Sunday afternoon, week five in the NFL, but you’re not watching the games. Instead, you’re watching the John Deere National Lawnmower Racing Circuit Semifinals on ESPN27. After all, their stat ticker is faster. You’re sitting alone in the dark, and there’s a little tiny Clydesdale rearing up against the back of your eyeballs, and a nail from one of its horseshoes is loose and catching on your optic nerve as you wait to discover whether Tatum Bell is going to get any goal-line carries. It’s at this point that you realize that maybe fantasy football is not for you.

So you stop playing. And by “you,” I mean “me.” Yes, me stop playing fantasy football. In fact, I quit so long ago that Tatum Bell was my final big sleeper pick. That’s the most timely fantasy reference I can give you.

That is, until today. For you see, a certain ex-Terp is tearing up the fantasy world. That Terp, of course, is San Francisco 49ers tight end and Under Armour Spokesperon Vernon Davis. Davis is currently sitting third in the league TE rankings behind Dallas Clark and Antonio Gates. But that actually seems a little low, especially given that he is leading the league — the entire league — in receiving touchdowns with nine. Only Larry Fitzgerald and Reggie Wayne have as many. Add 57 receptions for 670 yards, and it’s no wonder he’s at 44 overall on the Yahoo! big board.

What I don’t understand is: what happened to his nickname? All throughout college he was “The Duke.” If I remember correctly, at one point he actually insisted on being called Duke Davis. But now he’s just plain old Vernon, at least in the media. But his Facebook refers to him as “The Duke.” Why can’t we bring that back? It’s a good nickname.

The Atlanta Hawks cut Juan Dixon yesterday. Please! A moment of silence.

The move is not entirely unexpected, as the Hawks already had Mike Bibby, Joe Johnson, Mo Evans, Mario West, Jamal Crawford, Jeff Teague, Dave Spiwack, World B. Free, John Havlicek, Wesley Snipes, Rosie Perez and Donnie Wahlberg at the guard positions. That’s some serious small ball, but I bet they could put Rosie on the block if they had to. Don’t kid yourself. She has a big rack. Juan did average a respectable 9 points in three preseason games.

The NBA season starts next Tuesday. I’m guessing Juan signs with another team after an injury or something during the season. He’s not an All Star, but he’s definitely serviceable. I’ve always thought he would be a good fit on a veteran contender-type team that valued character guys and could use an offensive spark off the bench. Perhaps a team whose name rhymes with Shman Anshmonio. But if he has played his last NBA game, that’d be eight seasons in the league. He could’ve done a lot worse.

Another lost season for Jets nose tackle and former Maryland DT Kris Jenkins. After suffering a torn left ACL yesterday, Jenkins, a three-time Pro Bowler who played for the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII, is shelved again. Jenkins, 30, helped key the turnaround of the Jets run defense, and can be dominant when he’s healthy. It’s just that that doesn’t seem to consistently happen. He missed all but one game in 2004 and all but four games in 2005, after injuring his shoulder and tearing his right ACL, respectively. The dude is running out of knees. He also battled back problems earlier this season, among other various ailments.

Jenkins was a three-year starter for the Terps and started 27 of the 41 games during his time there.  As a senior in 2000, Jenkins made second team All-ACC, logging eight sacks and 18 quarterback pressures to go with 62 tackles, one forced fumble and one fumble recovery.  Him and Lamont Jordan were both drafted out of that team.

Jenkins, who signed a five-year, $30 million contract in 2008, should return for the Jets next season. Here’s hoping for a full recovery for Jenkins, who by all accounts is a good player, a good cook, and an all-around good guy.

(Photo credit: Andrew Mills/The [Newark] Star-Ledger)

Back in April, everyone agreed that the Raiders selecting former Terp wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey seventh overall was the swiftest move in the 2009 NFL draft.  For owner Al Davis, it was a legacy builder.  A masterstroke, even.  Dan Snyder chartered Big Boy I to fly out there and pick Al Davis’s brain.  And I don’t mean figuratively. 

The world was excited.  We watched and we waited.  With DHB, quarterback JaMarcus Russell, and pugnacious new head coach Tom Cable, Oakland had visions of glory.  Maybe .500?  Don’t jinx it, they cried!  It’s too sweet to even mention.

But now, oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Heyward-Bey is currently tied for 118th among NFL receivers with two receptions.  Just a few days ago, Chris Berman and Peter King — the Mount Rushmore of football journalism intelligentsia — both observed that DHB has fewer catches than he has names.  Oh, oh!   My goodness!   One teensy little problem, though.  His last name is hyphenated, making it one word.  That means his reception total is TIED with his name total.  So there.  Hey, guys, I’ve booked a third-grade-level grammar class for you.  My treat.

People might be quick to blame DHB because he was picked higher than people thought he should’ve been.  I guess he should have refused the money and the big-time spotlight, huh?   It’s not helping that DHB is saddled with another Al Davis masterstroke, JaMarcus Russell, who is just about the worst quarterback in the NFL (thank Gosh for Derek Anderson!).  He has thrown four interceptions and precisely one touchdown.  His completion percentage is 42 — good for worst in the league.  In technical terms, he couldn’t throw it into the ocean from a rowboat.   He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.  And let’s not even bring up the narrow side.

This is also not to mention the general suckitude of the entire Raiders organization.  Oh, and the pesky little fact that Cable may soon be facing felony assault charges.  But as always, time will tell where the blame lies for DHB’s stumble out of the gate.  After Al Davis ships him to Indy in two years for a seventh-round draft pick and two units of plasma, we’ll see who is right and who is wrong.